Purple People Eater

The Purple People Eater is a song that was #1 on the Billboard pop charts for 6 days in 1958.  It's a song about a one-eyed one-horned, flying purple people eater who comes to Earth to join a rock band.  And that is my inspiration behind the purple hair.  I'm kidding.  Not about the purple hair... Continue Reading →

Maternal Me

What do you want?  Question of my life.  I want to live in a castle but like one with good insulation and a giant library full of first editions and velvet couches.  I want old maps that hold secrets of treasures unknown.  I want a lazy river moat full of mermaids and waterfalls and potions... Continue Reading →

Wander~ful

Not all who wander are lost. J.R.R. Tolkien I was told recently that in this lifetime I'm supposed to find my home.  To stay grounded and make roots.  If that is the case, I'm 100% failing at life.  My suitcase is always on standby.  I can't seem to stay put.  My life is a bit... Continue Reading →

Is it Over Yet?

Hi, it's me, your friend the walking corpse.  I am going to say something that is going to make a lot of you mad.  I need a 3 month siesta.  I realize I spend a large portion of my life on vacation.  In my defense, they are all micro-vacations.  I need a giant chunk of... Continue Reading →

Collision

Minus the times my brothers were active in the military my family has always been together for Christmas.  It's my favorite time of year.  These are my people, my tribe, my kin.  Who else is going to finish my mom's tequila and facetime every single person in my phone?  It's truly the best...for about 4... Continue Reading →

For Moms with Tiny Humans

"My son spit on me today."  This is a text message I received from my best friend followed by "I want to stab him in the face with a fork."  Meanwhile, I was reading a book on my couch wearing whitestrips and a charcoal peel-off mask.  Talk about a Freaky Friday dynamic.  I don't know... Continue Reading →

The Unofficial Superhero

Anytime any of my girlfriends have told me they are pregnant, there's always a split second of hesitance before my  reaction because two thoughts cross my mind.  The first one is OH MY GOODNESS, YOU'VE DECIDED TO MAKE A TINY HUMAN AND THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!!!  The second one is HOLY S#%* YOU'RE SOMEBODY'S MOM... Continue Reading →

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