Go to Bed

Amy on Jeopardy! lost and I hate it. I didn’t want it to end. I think that’s how I feel about most amazing things and phenomenons. Vacations, bowls of mac and cheese, celebrations, good make-outs, winning streaks, the Olympics, being on a boat surrounded by dolphins – please never end. It never fails to amaze me how fast time flies when you’re having fun and how unbearably slow it moves when you’re doing a plank. I’ll read for three hours and have no idea what happened – 15 seconds into a plank and the world as I know it shattering on top of my head. Time is a minxy little thing. Is there a manager around here? Because I have some suggestions on when to speed up, slow down and incinerate time. Also who invented a clock and how and what? We shall divide the day into 24 hours and hours shall be divided into minutes. So 24 minutes in an hour? No – don’t be ridiculous. 60. I don’t care about when the Declaration of Independence was signed, I wish I would have been around for decision making like THAT. And, like, legal driving ages and high heels…

Decision making is something I’m terrible at. TERRIBLE. If you’ve seen my life, you know. I will do almost anything in order to not make a decision. I’ve become quite good at it. In all seriousness, it’s usually because I genuinely don’t care. And not in a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ way but in that I sincerely have no preference. If I am feeling a certain way, I speak up but I don’t throw my two cents around all willy-nilly. I like to reserve my opinions so they really pack a punch when I let ’em out. I like not knowing what’s going to happen sometimes, I have no problems letting someone else turn the page from time to time which I’m sure is someone else’s nightmare. Some people like to drive, some people like to sit shotgun. I’m a shotgun girl. Why do people like the things they like and do the things they do? I think about this A LOT. The choices people make. The words people say. Why they comment on this but not about that. People are fascinating. I am with me every single day and still surprise myself from time to time. My decision is questionable at best. I ended up moving to Chicago because I fell in love with a Rock N’ Roll McDonald’s when I visited as a little girl and I think that explains a lot.

If you do anything today, when you’re done reading this, put your phone down and have a conversation with someone. Or call them if you must but use your words and get verbal! I had an interview the other day and realized how stressed out I was by human interaction. I was sphitzing! It was a mess. I thought to myself, how hard is it to have a conversation? What’s become of me?? As amazing and beneficial as social media and technology CAN be, it it doing equal amounts of harm? I’ve asked myself this a lot – especially in these last few years – and I’ve yet to come to a conclusion. Communication isn’t hard but my family makes it feel like my brain after watching Interstellar. WOW. And then I think about my style of communicating – which is extensive – and wonder if it’s a product of overcompensation or am I related to the mailman? I will say I do have a problem with commenting on thoughts I think I’ve said out loud. I also have difficulty differentiating between reality and my dreams so sometimes I think things have happened or conversations occurred that only exist in my mind and it makes things rather difficult. Imagine that – me making things difficult. Unheard of.

I’m happy to be an adult – I am. I think. But there was so much of my youth wasted on wanting to be an adult and I wish I would have been more….content. I could still use more of that in my life now. Are humans ever content? Is it in our nature? Sitting still and not doing anything is hard for me. I don’t know how to watch TV without doing something else – whether it’s writing, having a book on hand to read during breaks or playing a game on my phone. I’ll be in a room with other people and we’re all watching a main screen while on our own screens, which is the norm anymore, but is it healthy? I wish there was a way to explain to children how great they have it. My friend’s daughter always borrows my phone and pretends to be on it and I always tell her to enjoy being a kid where bills don’t exist and your shoes are paid for. What I wouldn’t give for someone to tell me to stop what I’m doing and go to bed. Who gets mad about being in bed?! Kids do. I’ve witnessed it and I am baffled. Meanwhile, my other friend’s daughter gave me a book for Christmas called the Third Wheel. Shots fired! The best part was she didn’t understand what was so funny – it was just her favorite. Kids are the best – mostly because they aren’t mine.

We’re almost to February and this year is turning out to be as promising as And Just Like That… I WILL turn this car around. Haha who am I kidding? I’m riding shotgun, no I won’t. But I will move into a trailer park and become the woman living inside of me. Don’t tempt me. Trailer park or an island. It’s gonna happen. I hope this week is better than last week. That you found more hope in today than yesterday. Make something from scratch you can be proud of. Delete your delivery apps and order from the source. Call your representatives and ask them what in the eff they’ve actually been doing this year. Make today count. Go do something you’ve never done for no other reason than you can. Send me a cupcake. Maybe call someone and tell them to go to bed. Whatever you choose, be content. It’s important. I’ll be gearing up for the game in my black and orange – arguably the ugliest color combination for my skin tone in the winter ever. But hey – the things you do for love. WHO DEY


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