My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
Honestly, how is it Thursday again? The Bengals already lost again? I can't even remember what I did yesterday. Who's on First? What happened to Monday and where are my pants? You ever wonder if you're really just an avatar and someone out there is severely disappointed in your performance? Are we the topics of... Continue Reading →
Ahhh, yes, the time of year when everyone rages about Columbus and tells you if you don't vote a certain way, you don't love them while everyone else threatens to leave the country - it's the most wonderful time of the year! Since I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to use my passport... Continue Reading →
What a week it has been, especially in the United States of WTF is going on America. My.God. Stand back Schitt's Creek, because this was BY FAR the best comedy of the year. For those of you who watched the (dramatic pause with a big long sigh)..."debate"...I really hope you were drinking. For those of... Continue Reading →
Well it's happened. My emotions have boiled over. I've finally reached the crying portion of quarantine. I legit can't stop and I know I'm behind in this trend and a lot of you have been crying everyday since March but someone grab a life hammer and save me from this snowglobe of tears. I typically... Continue Reading →
It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →
Saw a man walking down the street in a mask he had crafted with a Crown Royal bag so I really think America is finally getting it together. Then three seconds later a bee kamikazee-ed his way into my breakfast while a bird took a shit that landed inches away from my elbow. 10 minutes... Continue Reading →
Nobody panic. Not only did I accidentally send my favorite spoon through the garbage disposal and am I starting to look like Frankenstein's bride, but we've reached the multiple waterspout portion of the pandemic. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please pause and google immediately. I'll wait... ...That's right, water is going up... Continue Reading →
Alright, which of the gods hate me? The one night I finally fall asleep like the damn Disney princess I know is inside of me somewhere yearning to be free and EARTHQUAKES.ALL.NIGHT. In my ten years living in LA, I've never been woken up by an earthquake. I'm the girl that sleeps through the earthquakes. ... Continue Reading →
Well well well - just when I thought everybody was out of control just enough, enter MURDER HORNETS! Cause cicadas weren't enough. No, no. That's too biblical, they said. We need something a little more modern, a little more sexy. Viola murder hornets. Maybe landsharks and sharknados aren't such crazy concepts afterall. There really isn't... Continue Reading →
Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing. My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest. What are standards? Tell me all about them. Sign me up for the Biggest Loser: Quarantine Edition. I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night. I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 