Life is a Cabaret

She's alive!!! Mwah hahahhahahhahahhahah!!!!!!...well, kinda. I honestly had every intention of posting the past few weeks and then life happened. And by that I mean one week I had a martini followed by a glass of champagne followed by an hour plus conversation with a most lovely gentleman about why we think everyone has lost... Continue Reading →

too hot for quarantine

Happy 'wtf is it so hot?' Thursday.  Just over here making a list of exit strategies for zoom.  'My computer died' has run its course.  People are getting suspicious.  It's like running into someone in the grocery aisle and there's no conversation to be had, so your only option is to jump into a pile... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Live to Love

Watching Chocolat while on Whole30 was probably a bad idea.  Also, what even was that movie and how was it nominated for an Oscar?  What I wouldn't do for a Caramello right now.  Mmmmm...nom nom nom.  I have been informed by a friend that I talk in my sleep and that even then, I'm sarcastic. ... Continue Reading →

Mrs. Brightside

First of all, I must apologize for the maniac who wrote last week's post.  Good lord, someone put that nightmare in a cage.  She has been dealt with.  (sigh) I'm thinking I'll be less stressed in 2026...when I'm 43.   HAHAHAHA....omg.  Anyways, here we are.  Lots to discuss.  Some lifestyle changes, some groping, a bit of... Continue Reading →

Till it’s Gone

Ah, yes.  It's that magical time of year between Christmas and NYE when I have no idea what day or time it is and spend the majority of my waking hours in pjs.  It's basically a week of pre-approved and socially accepted childhood.  Growing up was such a bad move on my part. My microwave... Continue Reading →


It's official.  The cactus I thought was coming back to life took a turn for the worst and is dead.  This is why I can't have nice things.  So add cactus killer to my resume.  And I'm allergic to dogs.  Can you believe I'm single?  I'd like to volunteer for a redo please.  I'll take... Continue Reading →

Dog Days are Over

Yesterday was fun.  I got 61 pricks on my back at the allergist.  If you don't know my history with needles, here's a brief synopsis.  When I was four years old, my brother tripped me and I fell and cracked my head open on a hearth just below my right brow-bone by my eye.  This... Continue Reading →

Life in Retro

I don't know how any of you are doing but Mercury is in retrograde and whether you believe in that kind of stuff or not you gotta admit - things have been a little weird lately.  I don't even feel like half of the people I talk to these days have any idea what I'm... Continue Reading →

As You Wish

I never pass up an opportunity to make a wish.  If that makes me juvenile, so be it.  I have enough wishes to fill the Pacific.  I throw coins in fountains, I blow away my eyelashes, I drive through yellow lights, I wait for the clock to show all the same numbers and I genuinely... Continue Reading →

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