Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Potion Sky

If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book.  Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people.  I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert.  I love talking but also crave silence.  I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks.  I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →

Ghostbusting

It's October.  That spooky time of year.  And what's more scary than ghosts and dating?  Honestly, you could give me the option of a haunted house and a dating app and I'd probably go for the house.  And I HATE haunted houses.  I get irrationally scared and the entire time I'm wishing I was at... Continue Reading →

Distractionz

I'm going to be one hundred with you.  I woke up this morning and not a single word was written for this week.  This is not typically my M.O.  I wish I could tell you I've been busy spending my nights as a vigilante, trying to make this world a better place, but I'm afraid... Continue Reading →

Naughty or Nice

I'm not exactly sure how we got here but every December we convince children across the world that there is a dude, most likely a diabetic, with a closet full of red and white pants suits who knows when you're awake.  It's the only story where a strange old man with a beard in costume... Continue Reading →

Wait for It

The average person spends five years waiting.  If that didn't just make a single tear fall down your cheek or make your head wanna pop off, you have more patience than I will ever know in a lifetime.  Five years is a really long time.  I will have spent more time in traffic than I... Continue Reading →

Control Freak

If we have learned anything in the past few weeks, and I pray that we have, we know that there are certain things we can't control.  No one is ever going to think exactly like you, being a Bengals fan comes with endless heartache, my right armpit will always sweat more than the left, Mayweather... Continue Reading →

The cell

If we let the world keep on spinning the way it is, before we know it, human contact will be extinct.  Everything we want is literally at our fingertips.  You can order delivery, deposit checks, send a message to a friend while ignoring a call from another, pay a debt via Venmo and confirm your... Continue Reading →

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