Execution of Excellence

I'm baAAAaaaAAAAck!  As three of you might have noticed, I went off the grid in a major way.  I needed a recess, a pause from the monotony, an escape from the claustrophobia that is quarantine.  We all know I'm a girl who survives off adventure and it got way too groundhog day around here, so... Continue Reading →

Pursuit of Happyness

Do you feel like life is passing you by?  Do you find that there's not enough time in a day?  Are you having difficulty making space for yourself?  Try doing a plank for two minutes.  TIME HAS NEVER MOVED SO SLOW.  Hands down, the worst 120 seconds of your life.  Everything is about perspective, is... Continue Reading →

Team Liger

How is everyone holding up out there?  We doing ok?  You shaved your head yet?  Figure out what anyone is talking about?  Everyone good on tissue products?  STILL haven't bought TP by the way.  Couldn't even if I wanted to because some of your friends are (said in a whisper) batshit crazy.  I was laying... Continue Reading →

Empty Chairs & Empty Tables

Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing.  My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest.  What are standards?  Tell me all about them.  Sign me up for the Biggest Loser:  Quarantine Edition.  I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night.  I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →

NonEssential

How are all those languages coming along?  Remember when a bat ruined my chances at ever seeing Hamilton or having sex?  Oh man...let's see...let me look at these tallies I've been making on my wall with lipstick I'll never wear again...it's day eleventy-five of this quarantine and so far my kitchen has flooded, I've murdered... Continue Reading →

Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

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