Pick your Poison

I’ve been stomping around making trumpet noises for weeks.  The two year wait is finally over.  If you find yourself wondering what I’m doing in the next fortnight, it involves my television, ice sports and random bouts of shouting.  The Olympics have arrived and I’m already watching curling at two in the morning!  South Korea time is going to kill me.  You don’t have to support it, you don’t need to understand it, you don’t even have to like it because it’s MINE.  It’s my thing.  I believe the phrase is, you do you.  Each of us is ignited by something that speaks to us.  It’s called passion.  It’s what brings us to life, it’s what makes this whole thing worth the ride.  Without it, we would be unmotivated, uninspired and quite frankly, dead, so to speak.   As a vampire named Angel once said, “Passion is the source of our finest moments.”

People find their passions in all different sorts of ways.  Everyone walks on this globe with a different sense of purpose.  I have a friend who has a real environmental thing against straws.  And now, vicariously, I won’t go near them.  I, personally, refuse to drink Dasani water because it’s infused with salt.  The Netflix sensation What the Health has turned everyone into vegans.  The plant based life is on serious trend right now.  It’s the gluten allergy of 2018.  My friend was at Whole Foods the other day and a giant group of protesters filed in and formed a line in front of the deli counter.  They had some pretty viscous signs and were yelling things like ‘COW KILLER!’, ‘MURDERERS!’ etc.  I am all about freedom of speech and being an activist in your own right but can we please discuss your approach?  First of all, the cows are already dead, folks.  If you want to actually stop the animals from being killed, the deli at the Whole Foods in West Hollywood isn’t where to do it.  And maybe someone just wanted potato salad, but you’ll never know.

Here’s the thing.  I get it.  You’re convicted.  You feel very strongly in the life you are leading.  All of this is great.  Where it goes awry is when you start speaking down to other people and use intimidation as a source of communication.  No one has ever gotten someone to see it from their point of view with aggressive yelling and all around abrasive tactics.  You think someone is going to keep doing what they’ve been doing their whole lives or listen to the stranger screaming in their face holding a sign that looks like it was made during a Vikings blood moon ceremony?  See what I mean?  I got into a fight with an ex-boyfriend and he threw a table off of the third floor porch in a fit of anger.  Spoiler alert:  that did not help his case.  There is a way to convey your feelings about something sans drastic measures.  It’s called conversation and understanding which is this archaic notion of using words to be heard with the intention of listening to the words coming back at you in return.  I know, bananas right?

A grown man with a lumberjack beard told me he couldn’t drink his moscow mule out of the copper cup it was served in because “it’s toxic and very bad for our health”.  I read the same article but here’s the thing – the list of what won’t kill me is getting shorter and shorter and I’m busy and need to live what’s left of this life.  I imagine this is how helicopter parents are born.  And if you want to live in fear and paranoia, be my guest.  What I’m learning is that if you look into any of this stuff with sincerity, you won’t be eating or drinking anything by the time you’re done with it.  As Lewis Black said, he was on a plane reading an article about diabetes and by the time he landed, he had diabetes.  Can I just eat this sandwich?!  Is that too much to ask for these days?  I’m beginning to understand why people say ignorance is bliss.  Anyway, I got a fresh drink for the guy, he didn’t die by an unbalanced pH poisoned cup and we all lived happily ever after.  And then I watched him get up and go smoke a cigarette.  (long pause of disbelief and face snarling)  You have got to be kidding me.

Everyone has their thing.  We all draw lines in the sand in one way or another.  I’m not sure how we decide where our boundaries begin and end but we do and it becomes us.  We all have our own demons.  We can ignore them, fight them, rise above them, or give into them.  It is our choice.  Pick your poison I suppose.  You know what I’m talking about.  It can be anything, from your diet to that person you keep going back to despite every shred of sense in your body screaming for you not to.  We all take stances on something, we have opinions, we have point of views – it’s what makes us who we are and we are all very different.  Respect the motivation of those around you and be cognizant of your own.  Find what sets you ablaze and be fearless in that pursuit.  Be a walking wildfire…kiss the sky.

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