NonEssential

How are all those languages coming along?  Remember when a bat ruined my chances at ever seeing Hamilton or having sex?  Oh man...let's see...let me look at these tallies I've been making on my wall with lipstick I'll never wear again...it's day eleventy-five of this quarantine and so far my kitchen has flooded, I've murdered... Continue Reading →

Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Scary Movie Life

Well it's happened.  I am living my nightmare, starring in my own horror film.  Something I never thought possible.  (sigh) I didn't have a single sip of alcohol on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm a failure to myself, my family and all of Ireland.  I feel shame.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  This... Continue Reading →

The Best We Can

Ever feel like you're walking through life blindfolded in the dark searching for a pinata without a bat?  Asking for a friend.  The universe has always had my back but I feel like she's testing my limits these days.  Keeping my eyes peeled for that silver lining like a hawk.  I know I'm not alone. ... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Potion Sky

If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book.  Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people.  I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert.  I love talking but also crave silence.  I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks.  I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →

My Funny GALentine

Well it's the day before Valentine's Day so I obviously have a lot to say.  I recommend a stiff drink or case of wine.  It's Thursday.  Treat yourself.  I celebrated by eating a pound of queso yesterday.  Whoopsie.  Back to Whole30 I go.  In the spirit of being a broke ass ho, I stayed in... Continue Reading →

Hot Body

I swear J-Lo is taunting me.  Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face.  You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations.  I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties.  I've never looked like that.  So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →

Live to Love

Watching Chocolat while on Whole30 was probably a bad idea.  Also, what even was that movie and how was it nominated for an Oscar?  What I wouldn't do for a Caramello right now.  Mmmmm...nom nom nom.  I have been informed by a friend that I talk in my sleep and that even then, I'm sarcastic. ... Continue Reading →

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