I Believe in a Thing Called love

People watching is my jam.  I find relationships, especially, extremely fascinating.  I love looking around a room and observing couples.  I wonder how they met, who made the first move, how long they’ve been together, how many kids they have, what their last argument was about, if they still like each other…the list goes on and on.  I am enamored with love and how it works and what it takes and the many different ways in which it manifests itself.  Love makes my heart smile in the most genuinely radiant way.  It livens me to the core.  It’s the most girly thing about me without a doubt.

For a hopeless romantic, optimism in the relationship department is a real gamble these days, emphasis on hopeless.  With divorce, affairs and distractions at every corner, the idea of growing old together has been put on a very high shelf in a store that’s already going out of business.  Monogamy has become an avant-garde idea reserved by the 18th century and blue moons.  Someone once pointed out to me that monogamy is not in human nature.  They reminded me that we are born with the mindset of divide and conquer.  More, more, more.  Next, next, next.  While I understand that mentality, may I also politely extend my middle finger to this BS, if not, archaic notion.

I have loved, I’ve been broken and I’ve even lost myself at times.  My heart gets the best of me once in awhile and I forget that not everyone loves as fiercely as I do.  I will forever be searching for moments of love in my life.  That’s just who I am.  And while I do LOVE love, I’m not willing to sacrifice or lower my standards going forward.  Combine that with the fact that I live in LA and I’m probably going to die alone.  Yet, I stand unwaveringly determined to prove statistics wrong.  Cause I’m a stubborn Greek and Italian sass machine with the heart of a Disney Princess and the skin of a thousand warriors who loves a puzzle almost as much as she loves being right.

I live in a world of twisted truths, convenience and laziness.  And before every millennial reading this starts rolling their eyes and doing that thing they do so well called being offended, calm yourselves.  The world has gotten lazy and it started way before the 80s.  And if you disagree with me, compare a hard day’s work today to a hard day’s work two-hundred years ago.  Restaurants weren’t a thing because EVERYTHING was farm to table.  The laundry situation?  Quarters would be the last of your concerns.  They weren’t googling baby goat pictures or following mini-pig Instagram feeds because they were in the backyard waiting to be fed.  How anyone got anywhere without GPS is an enigma I will never understand and I wasn’t even raised with it.  My own childhood baffles me at times.

Dating isn’t what it used to be.  The courting process seems to have expedited in recent years.  No one is wearing the quarterback’s letterman jacket or getting pinned…at least not in the way it used to mean.  Talking about feelings and being honest with one another is apparently now more intimate than the things that should be.  Long talks on the phone in which there was always a chance of parental interference have now been replaced with text message conversations which lack tone, attention and proper English.  My grandmother’s eyes would ROLL.  Sarcasm is stitched into my bones so texting has become an issue for me from time to time.  How many times do I need to say sarcasm needs a font!?!?  Furthermore, I don’t need new texting buddies in my life.  That’s what my friends are for and we don’t care who text who last.

Anymore it’s the battle of who can appear less vulnerable which is a huge snooze-fest.  The power struggle games are obnoxious and I honestly don’t have the time for it.  There are unspoken rules of engagement and I fart in their general direction.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve helped compose a text message for a friend or been handed a phone for transcription.  STOP IT.  Don’t overthink it!  Stop trying to be anything other than yourself.  Say what you want to say when you want to say it.  This is why I would be an awful handmaid and maybe why I’m single.  That and the fact that my flirt game is catastrophically sub par.  My text game is strong but put me in front of someone and I turn into a wrecking ball.  I was talking to this guy I may or may not have a crush on and my mind turned into total soup and all I could think was:  I LIKE TURTLES!  (Sigh)  Someone save me.

Despite all of this, I still believe there is someone out there looking for someone like me.  God bless their soul.  I want to fall in love, stay in love and live in love.  I know it’s out there because I’ve seen it.  So call me naïve, call me a believer, call me an idiot, call me whatever you want but I’m here to put the hopeful back in romance.  I wanna grow old and wrinkly with someone…more wrinkly I guess.  Maybe it’s someone I already know, maybe not, maybe they got stuck in Europe for a few decades, perhaps they are ice fishing in the South Pole, at this point who knows.  I want that timeless love that hopes, endures and believes all things.  I want a man who wants to be by my side and chooses us over and over again, each morning, 7 days a week.  Nothing more, nothing less.  ❤️

But for real, if you see him or if you’ve met him, tell him to step on it…a girl only has so much patience…

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