My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and yet this year continues to surprise me on a catastrophic level. Today I worked out with a handle of vodka and a magnum bottle of wine. When in Rome, right? Or Indy. Whatever. I tried watching Jeopardy! while working out and just some advice, don't. Not... Continue Reading →
I don't know why I'm surprised every year I have to post on Thanksgiving. And yet, here I am, mystified beyond belief. While I have a very twisty relationship with the historical origins of this day, I can step back enough to appreciate the sentiment of being thankful. Personally, I have had some of my... Continue Reading →
This portion of quarantine has been brought to you by irrational emotions, boredom, cheesesteaks and Jeopardy! . I mean, the majority of this year has been strange and mostly sad but now it's just gone flat-out 87 shades of wack-a-doo. LA has been put on a curfew 'til Christmas. Ohio has literally become the town... Continue Reading →
I carved a pumpkin for the first time in my adult life. Felt pretty good about it. That said pumpkin is already decayed and molded due to sweating-just-standing-here degree weather in October because THIS IS WHERE THE DEVIL LIVES. Thank you, LA. Alas, it's finally less than 100 degrees in LA and my sweet little... Continue Reading →
Honestly, how is it Thursday again? The Bengals already lost again? I can't even remember what I did yesterday. Who's on First? What happened to Monday and where are my pants? You ever wonder if you're really just an avatar and someone out there is severely disappointed in your performance? Are we the topics of... Continue Reading →
Ahhh, yes, the time of year when everyone rages about Columbus and tells you if you don't vote a certain way, you don't love them while everyone else threatens to leave the country - it's the most wonderful time of the year! Since I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to use my passport... Continue Reading →
Well it's happened. My emotions have boiled over. I've finally reached the crying portion of quarantine. I legit can't stop and I know I'm behind in this trend and a lot of you have been crying everyday since March but someone grab a life hammer and save me from this snowglobe of tears. I typically... Continue Reading →
It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →
Saw a man walking down the street in a mask he had crafted with a Crown Royal bag so I really think America is finally getting it together. Then three seconds later a bee kamikazee-ed his way into my breakfast while a bird took a shit that landed inches away from my elbow. 10 minutes... Continue Reading →
Nobody panic. Not only did I accidentally send my favorite spoon through the garbage disposal and am I starting to look like Frankenstein's bride, but we've reached the multiple waterspout portion of the pandemic. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please pause and google immediately. I'll wait... ...That's right, water is going up... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 