Fire Swamp

Well well well - just when I thought everybody was out of control just enough, enter MURDER HORNETS!  Cause cicadas weren't enough.  No, no.  That's too biblical, they said.  We need something a little more modern, a little more sexy.  Viola murder hornets.  Maybe landsharks and sharknados aren't such crazy concepts afterall.  There really isn't... Continue Reading →

too hot for quarantine

Happy 'wtf is it so hot?' Thursday.  Just over here making a list of exit strategies for zoom.  'My computer died' has run its course.  People are getting suspicious.  It's like running into someone in the grocery aisle and there's no conversation to be had, so your only option is to jump into a pile... Continue Reading →

Empty Chairs & Empty Tables

Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing.  My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest.  What are standards?  Tell me all about them.  Sign me up for the Biggest Loser:  Quarantine Edition.  I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night.  I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →

My Mayhem

Well, some of us ran the L.A. marathon and some of us drank ten pounds of champagne and woke up in a 2 year old's room.  Wedding showers, am I right?  Get a group of girls together before the sun sets and you better clear the streets.  Talk about rebels without a cause.  Cause here's... Continue Reading →

Hot Body

I swear J-Lo is taunting me.  Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face.  You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations.  I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties.  I've never looked like that.  So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →

Funkytown

Whatawonderfullifeitiswhenyourspacebarworks.  I was a few seconds away from chucking my computer into the wall in a fit of rage.  I don't get a temper often...but when I do, I light things on fire.  Dear, Mercury.  Please explode.  Mercury is in retrograde and all communication and technology has been rendered useless.  And maybe you're not the... Continue Reading →

The Curve

I have officially fallen into the dark hole that is Project Runway.  I have never been one particularly inclined towards fashion.  My go-to shoe is a flip flop and I wear black jeans 360 days of the year.  The other 5, you're lucky if I put pants on at all.  I'm not known for being... Continue Reading →

Soaring

It's important to know that life isn't always on your side.  There's some definite roughage.  We've all been there.  It's just how it all works - ebbs and flows.  I'm not a genius or anything by any scholastic standard but I think if we had each other's backs more often, it might - hell, I... Continue Reading →

Glow On

I think about the people I've met and the places I've seen and it really is remarkable where life can take you.  Lord knows I love to travel.  Some people get drunk and make late night booty calls, I get drunk and book flights.  It's a very expensive habit.  I currently have 5 pending trips... Continue Reading →

Beautiful Mind

My phone is currently out of order because hiking in thunderstorms has become my new hobby.   Whoops.  So if you've been trying to reach me, my phone is in a bowl of rice until further notice.  Just add that to my bag of crazy.  I should probably be more concerned but I just don't care. ... Continue Reading →

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