Glow On

I think about the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen and it really is remarkable where life can take you.  Lord knows I love to travel.  Some people get drunk and make late night booty calls, I get drunk and book flights.  It’s a very expensive habit.  I currently have 5 pending trips in my Southwest account.  Between St. Patty’s day, family reunions, Indy 500s and a European excursion with Lakmé, my year is pretty much accounted for.   That’s the kind of life I live.  I was talking to one of my best friends yesterday and she was asking how I was doing.  I just told her how busy and stressed out I’ve been and how it’s go go go all the time and she reminded me that I wouldn’t want it any other way and she’s right.  I’ve always been somewhat of an overachieving  go-with-the-flow spontaneous big hearted masochist.  It’s not something I’m proud of as much as it’s just the way it is.  There are certain truths about yourself you have to come to terms with and if you’re going to be honest with anyone, you may as well start with yourself right?

There are certain truths we like to ignore.  About bad habits, patterns, less than admirable characteristics, unhealthy relationships, insecurities – all sorts of things.  It’s the bad and the ugly about ourselves we tend to dismiss or simply not address.  Markets thrive on it.  Self help aisles in libraries are all the rage across the country.  People who have found the answers and dispense their advice in hopes of shedding light on all of our shadows.  And here’s what I’ve learned from all of this, no single person’s adventure is like anyone else’s.  Advice will always be just that.  No one knows exactly what another person has been through – it’s impossible.  You can empathize all you want, you can even understand more than most, but there isn’t anyone in this world who can help you more than you can help yourself.  Our feelings about ourselves can only come from one obvious place.  We waste so much time in our lives believing it can come from anywhere else.

As far as self-help, I probably need more than most.  For the first time ever I cracked my phone screen.  I managed to accomplish this without a drop of alcohol.  My phone detected moisture (again) – I think it was leftover from last week.  So I took it out of the case to put in a bag of barley and BOOM!  You’ve gotta be joking my ass.  So now I’m just gonna be that lady with a cracked screen who looks like she doesn’t have her shit together which is great ’cause my two month old nails fit right in.  Tack on the fact my roots are starting to show and I’m a real trailer trash prize I tell ya.  I’m gonna live this cracked phone life till the bitter end.  Maybe it suits me.  I am trying to incorporate Tidying Up into my routine, it’s just that if I do, I’ll have to sacrifice sleep which doesn’t sound like the wisest exchange at this point in time.  Stay tuned, kitchen cabinets, I’ll get to you soon enough.

Valentine’s day is around the corner.  So for all of you in those relationships where nothing is quite defined yet, I wish you the best of luck and a lot of vodka.  Starting to date someone around this time is emotionally taxing.  Like, I don’t know what we are!  Are we exchanging gifts?  Are we doing dinner?  You want to do lunch?  Why?  Are you married?  Am I your mistress?  Let me just stand in the card aisle for two hours deciding on something that perfectly describes how I feel that will end up in the trash can by noon the next day anyways.  It’s all so definitive and telling and Queen and all her scepters forbid you actually be up front about how you feel to anyone ever ’cause then people might actually know what’s going on and how to gauge their expectations.  Good luck with all THAT.  Meanwhile, BREAKING NEWS:  my friend just sent me a link that pickle bouquets are the new roses this year.  Whaaaaaat?!  My heart just leapt out of my chest and did a whole Bring it On routine – rings of fire and all.  I am dancing on clouds right now.  Who needs diamonds when you have pickles?!  I’ve always been a cheap date.  At least I’m consistent.

Be real about the things you want in life.  Don’t follow the masses or fade into trends.  Be the person you uniquely are you  beautiful snowflake.  Be honest – not only to those around you but, most importantly, to yourself.  From what I understand, keeping up with what actually happened is much easier than remembering all the lies you’ve weaved.  Go figure.  Honesty will set you free.  So surround yourself with what makes you smile and lights you up from the inside out.  Find your sunset and let the beauty radiate through your veins.  Relish those moments you tread where the earth meets the sea and the horizon is all you can see.  Find the guarantees, never let go and say your goodbyes to all the wishy washy maybes in your life.  Be a pickle bouquet in a world of roses.  Find what makes you love to live.  And glow baby glow.  Look Breanna, I got through a whole blog without mentioning the Whole30 once.  Almost.