My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →
I did this crazy thing the other day and found myself in the midst of a phone call because I made the extremely uncharacteristic choice of answering. Albeit, my phone deciding to ring at all was probably the most remarkable trait of the situation. My friend said, "I can't even write 2020 without wanting to... Continue Reading →
Saw a man walking down the street in a mask he had crafted with a Crown Royal bag so I really think America is finally getting it together. Then three seconds later a bee kamikazee-ed his way into my breakfast while a bird took a shit that landed inches away from my elbow. 10 minutes... Continue Reading →
Nobody panic. Not only did I accidentally send my favorite spoon through the garbage disposal and am I starting to look like Frankenstein's bride, but we've reached the multiple waterspout portion of the pandemic. If you don't know what I'm talking about, please pause and google immediately. I'll wait... ...That's right, water is going up... Continue Reading →
Remember that one time I signed up for a HIIT class, totally forgot, was reminded a minute before it started and was for sure still in bed eating a sandwich? Yes, you read that correctly and no, I don't need your judgement. I only threw up in my mouth twice. Then I laid on the... Continue Reading →
Day 11 of Whole30 and what I wouldn't give to smash my face into a magnum bottle of malbec right now. Or a merlot soaked gouda. Or a cupcake. Or a candy apple covered in fruity pebbles. Is it candy or candied? Who cares. My mouth is legit watering. The amount of times I've murmured... Continue Reading →
Alright, which of the gods hate me? The one night I finally fall asleep like the damn Disney princess I know is inside of me somewhere yearning to be free and EARTHQUAKES.ALL.NIGHT. In my ten years living in LA, I've never been woken up by an earthquake. I'm the girl that sleeps through the earthquakes. ... Continue Reading →
Ever feel like you're walking through life blindfolded in the dark searching for a pinata without a bat? Asking for a friend. The universe has always had my back but I feel like she's testing my limits these days. Keeping my eyes peeled for that silver lining like a hawk. I know I'm not alone. ... Continue Reading →
If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book. Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people. I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert. I love talking but also crave silence. I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks. I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →
Watching Chocolat while on Whole30 was probably a bad idea. Also, what even was that movie and how was it nominated for an Oscar? What I wouldn't do for a Caramello right now. Mmmmm...nom nom nom. I have been informed by a friend that I talk in my sleep and that even then, I'm sarcastic. ... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 