Last Dance

Remember that one time I signed up for a HIIT class, totally forgot, was reminded a minute before it started and was for sure still in bed eating a sandwich?  Yes, you read that correctly and no, I don’t need your judgement.  I only threw up in my mouth twice.  Then I laid on the floor for an hour staring at the ceiling.  It has been an interesting week full of surprises and revelations.  I came home to a mystery package and you all know how I feel about snail-mail.  Swoon.  I am proud to report, I am now a proud owner of a lemon squeezer and a potato masher.  When I called the beautiful human who sent me these prizes to say thank you, her 7 year old answered and proceeded to tell me how much she hates chicken for 15 minutes.  I always find it really endearing and flattering when people let me know they read my blog in their own unique ways.  You have no idea how much it means to me.  It brightens my soul to its core that you take the time to read my often chaotic, always ridiculous musings – so THANKS.  This is me blowing kisses and throwing out air hugs.  Also, feel free to follow suit and send me things – not mad about it.

After a 5 month long debacle with a mattress company and proving my case with a tape measure and fingernail file turned ruler, I finally got my replacement mattress and  And what’s better than a new mattress?  CLEAN SHEETS.  So I dressed her all up and then turned around to see I forgot to put the mattress pad on.  Insert silent scream here.  And because I am the most stubborn woman in all the land, the mattress pad is still sitting in that same chair.  Mocking me daily.  It is very strenuous making a bed in the corner by yourself – it requires calisthenics.  Life is a hard enough for us single ladies in quarantine.  I don’t need more reasons to sweat, ok?  LA is basically on fire.  It’s HOT.   Like walk outside to get your mail, have to shower again hot.  Lord, bring me a raindrop.  I read that there are currently 367 fires throughout California right now.  Living in flames over here.  It’s really hard climbing mountains when it’s this hot outside – so I’ve been drinking instead.  Whoopsie.  It was more of a Whole12 this go around.  It’s the thought that counts, ok?!

As promised, I finished The Last Dance and here are my thoughts.  I loved it.  I was a little young to really know all the behind the scenes goings ons when it was actually happening.  I was a teenager working out my hormones spending most of my days in the pool.  So as you see, not a lot has changed.  I gained more respect for Jordan than I already had.  I love that he saw himself as a basketball player and left everything outside of the game exactly there.  It falls in perfect line with his level of focus which is unparalleled to anything I’ve ever seen.

“Winning has a price. And leadership has a price. So I pulled people along when they didn’t want to be pulled. I challenged people when they don’t want to be challenged. And I earned that right because my teammates came after me. They didn’t endure all the things that I endured. Once you join the team, you live at a certain standard that I play the game, and I wasn’t gonna take anything less … That’s how I played the game. That was my mentality. If you don’t want to play that, don’t play that way. Break.” – Jordan

He said this with tears welling in his eyes and I maybe cried a little.  His realization at the price of winning was palpable – it kind of broke my heart that he was having to justify his methods.  It was a very real and raw moment for someone who is portrayed as a machine the majority of the time.  At the end of the day, he wasn’t there to make friends.  He was there to win.  And that’s what he did.  I think it’s crazy how underpaid Pippen was being the second best player in the league and Rodman was just…crazy and I love that Phil Jackson understood that part of him.  Also – Carmen Electra, I’d  be hiding from Michael Jordan too if he was banging on my Vegas hotel room door.  I feel you girl.  It was this perfect storm of players and coaching that left magic in its wake.

So it got me thinking about how different things would be if you knew you were doing something for the last time.  How different things ARE when you know it’s the final hour.  As spontaneous as I am, I am an habitual overthinker.  Especially with matters of the heart.  Ask me to pack a bag for a one way flight to an unknown destination in an hour – no worries.  Ask me to love you – sheer terror.  Imagine how freeing it would be to say all the things we leave in the margins.  How much lighter the voyage would be.  It’s the whole live for the moment, no regrets, blippity, blobbity, blah.  I know there are those of us who are jaded and aren’t quite sure how to believe in anything more than moments at a time but what if we actually let ourselves believe in something we never experienced?  What if we shed all the armour we’ve built up and were honest with ourselves.  With him.  With her.  I know that a Queen does not require a King…but what if she wants one?  What if we didn’t have to be so strong all the time?  I came across a quote this last week:  Whatever you aren’t changing, you are choosing.  If that didn’t just smack me right across the face.  I got thoughts, y’all.  Lots of em.

Outside of the usual reading and writing, I’ve been playing a lot of Clue, swimming and watching hockey.  I was also recently attacked by a chair and wake up every morning with phantom bruises I can’t explain.  I don’t know what I do or where I go when I sleep but I think it might be a fight club??  I think about why Rogue was portrayed so terribly in the XMen movies.  She is arguably the most badass of them all and then in the movies is all moping around forlorn cause she can’t kiss her boyfriend.  WTF?!  I didn’t run around as a child with whiteout in my hair cause she was all boo-hoo about a boy.  Get it together people.  I also think about what our Congress does quite often because I HAVE QUESTIONS.  There are 535 of you.  WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU DO?!  …besides take 4 day weekends when you’ve got millions of tax paying Americans waiting with bated break for your sure-to-be-shitty decision that determines their immediate course of action.  And a final question – if you plan on forgiving student loans, does that mean I get my money back?  Serious answers only.

And speaking of people whose function I don’t quite understand, apparently Wednesdays are my neighbor’s night to shine – and by shine I mean…(I’m giving that ‘you know’ with raised brows and wide eyes).  It’s the stomping I don’t understand.  Are you having a potato sack race in wooden clogs?  Do you keep forgetting things in the fridge?  Is it a relay race orgy?  Are you training for the 2021 US gymnastics team?  These are the only realistic explanations I can come up with.  Her internet cord comes through my apartment.  I also own a pair of scissors.  Just saying.  In conclusion, live and love out loud – but like less loud than my neighbor on Wednesday nights.  Search for the surprises in life.  Be the reason someone else is aglow.  Last dance the night away.  Leave magic in your wake.  Xx


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