My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
I am Jennifer. First born daughter of James. Queen of Quarantine & the Blue Mountains. The Puzzler. Destructor of plants. Dweller of the batcave. Seamstress for the Band. Keeper of the House of Whiteclaw. ...man that makes me sound so cool when really I'm just a borderline alcoholic who lives in a dim-lit studio... Continue Reading →
Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing. My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest. What are standards? Tell me all about them. Sign me up for the Biggest Loser: Quarantine Edition. I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night. I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →
How are all those languages coming along? Remember when a bat ruined my chances at ever seeing Hamilton or having sex? Oh man...let's see...let me look at these tallies I've been making on my wall with lipstick I'll never wear again...it's day eleventy-five of this quarantine and so far my kitchen has flooded, I've murdered... Continue Reading →
I don't know what day it is. I for sure don't know what time it is. I haven't been outside of my apartment in days. I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again. The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →
Ever feel like you're walking through life blindfolded in the dark searching for a pinata without a bat? Asking for a friend. The universe has always had my back but I feel like she's testing my limits these days. Keeping my eyes peeled for that silver lining like a hawk. I know I'm not alone. ... Continue Reading →
Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week. Yes, you read that sentence correctly. SHE'S STILL GOT IT! Ugh. So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week. Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →
If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book. Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people. I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert. I love talking but also crave silence. I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks. I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →
Well it's the day before Valentine's Day so I obviously have a lot to say. I recommend a stiff drink or case of wine. It's Thursday. Treat yourself. I celebrated by eating a pound of queso yesterday. Whoopsie. Back to Whole30 I go. In the spirit of being a broke ass ho, I stayed in... Continue Reading →
I swear J-Lo is taunting me. Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face. You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations. I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties. I've never looked like that. So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →
Watching Chocolat while on Whole30 was probably a bad idea. Also, what even was that movie and how was it nominated for an Oscar? What I wouldn't do for a Caramello right now. Mmmmm...nom nom nom. I have been informed by a friend that I talk in my sleep and that even then, I'm sarcastic. ... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 