In the Land of Blogs:

I’ve been toiling for months about what to write.  This is my grand entrance into the ballroom of blogs. My first impression in text. Normally I’d take a lengthy shower, put my abandoned hair dryer to use, smoke those eyes, and reluctantly perch myself on some heels.  And while there is nothing wrong with getting fancy, there isn’t a shade of lipstick that I could wear right now that will impress you. Or maybe it would…then I realized I hadn’t cared this much about what other people thought since high school.

With that being said, let’s talk about high school.  What would I tell my younger self? The magic question! I DESPISE this question.  It’s not fair to even suggest the thought.  But people do, constantly. Dare I say, idiotically.  The expectation is that the answer will be a minimal sentence fantastical epiphany of sage advice, which only adds fuel the ridiculous fire.  Even if by some strange time machine reality warp I could connect with my younger self, there is no way I would be able to summarize it into a single sentence.  Let’s get real.  It would be a 5 day lecture MINIMUM, starting somewhere around my eyebrows.

But, alas, I find myself in the land of blogs and I have all the time in the world. Where do I begin?  Listen to your mother. Hate cheese. Don’t go to that slumber party.  She’s not your real friend.  Hate cheese more. Don’t be afraid.  Being a grown up isn’t as awesome as you think it is.  Honest to God, it’s a hurricane of nostalgia, insecurity, should’ves, would’ves, and could’ves.  And for everyone who has ever said they have no regrets, I wish you weren’t a liar.

Growing up is hard. Technology has made it harder.  As a culture, we are completely obsessed with perfection and fitting into a mold.  The media defines normal while simaltaneously promoting individuality.  It’s the biggest hoax of our time.  It’s maddening.

So I guess I’d start by telling my younger self to stop seeking validation.  Do what you want to do when you want to do it because you want to do it.  My favorite piece of advice is “if you aren’t careful, you’ll end up like everyone else.”  I don’t think anything is more terrifying.

Stay tuned for more thoughts on growing up…advice in general…and in the words of Murray Duvall “keep in’ it real.”