I have been a writing maniac. Between reading, writing, working and sleeping – the social butterfly you know and love has been laying pretty low. I had every intention of executing a sober September. It was wildly unsuccessful. Apparently I was laying low like a lion ready to pounce. Mufasa Syndrome. But when adventure falls into my lap, who am I to say no? Call me a failure, I’ll take door #3 for $5,000, Alex. I’m a wildcard, what can I say? So maybe I was being tested by the powers that be…so I hope they learned their lesson cause I sure didn’t. In the words of the Dixie Chicks “somedays you just gotta dance, live it up when you get the chance.” And so I shall.
I knocked something off of my bucket list. I finally was invited to a Bar Mitzvah and I gotta tell you…it BLEW my mind. Who knew a party in honor of a teenager would be such a rager? There was a band, dancing, flowers upon flowers, trees with chandeliers, trees MADE of flowers, women on stiltz, fog machines, glow in the dark cotton candy, floating candlesticks – the works. Not gonna lie, there are at least 10 videos of me during the night saying ‘What is happening?!’ This kid (a TOTAL gentleman by the way) had an event in his name classier than my wedding will ever have the fractional potential of being. So if anyone knows of a Quinceañera happening, please send me the date and address…I will show up. Just ask my friend Daniel. Also, I would like to say that I think my life would have turned out much differently if I had a Bat Mitzvah. When I “became an adult” I was thrown a Dominos pizza party and wore a tiara made out of tin foil. Just saying, I think the Jews might be onto something.
Before my mom gets mad, I need everyone to know that I loved my birthdays growing up. They were amazing. Pizza brings me a great amount of happiness. All I want is a man who will buy me pizza and tell me I’m pretty. Propose to me with a pizza in front of Buckingham Fountain. Spoiler alert – I’ll say yes. My love for pizza is no joke. I recently discovered that you can get a raincheck for deals a store is having if they are out of it. Whaaaaaaaaat? So I may or may not have a raincheck for Home Run Inn Pizza – best frozen pizza ever- in my wallet. I do. I am pretty sure this bumps me to official old lady status. Anyways, back to birthdays, my mom would customize our cakes. We got whatever we wanted. She did everything from Barney to Jurassic Park (see below). For my 16th birthday, I had a cake that was entirely flowers so that ‘every piece would be a flower piece.’ I am very appreciative of my birthdays growing up. All I’m saying is if a band had been hired to sing in the backyard on a stage made of flowers and I was thrown into a hidden staircase murder mystery a la Nancy Drew, I wouldn’t have been mad. That’s all.
I also had the absolute pleasure of attending the Creative Arts Emmys last weekend. I walked the red carpet, got photo-bombed by Judd Apatow, witnessed John Legend achieve EGOT status and experienced my second encounter with the incomparable Carol Burnett. I lowkey died a little. She was a presenter and got a standing ovation just for showing up…as she should. Talk about life goals. The Governors Ball reception that followed was bananas. They turned a parking garage into a complete dream. I could have lived in that parking garage…comfortably. Talk about a glimpse into the other side. My glass of champagne never went empty, I was given -on bended knee- a Fiji water on a tray with a straw in it and basically treated like a resident of Buckingham Palace. The entertainment was unreal, the food was spectacular and the ambiance was divine. Of course I went back to my studio apartment, which is the size of the couch I was sitting on, my empty fridge and my pile of bills, but it sure was nice to be Cinderella for an evening.
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Why fight it? I am done with beating myself up. I am tired of being so hard of myself. I have come to realize that my plans don’t always fall in tune with the universe’s. That lady has a wacky mind of her own. And when someone offers you cake, you take it. If it’s cloudy with a chance of pizza, you risk it. And you always dance. Non-negotiable. Take the break the universe is whispering in your ear, let yourself live on the edge just enough and when given the opportunity to jump off a cliff, do it. Swing from the chandelier. Just make sure you find your way back. It’s always nice to see how the other side lives but I am forever grateful for my roots and the people I call home. It’s time to lay low again. We’ll see how long it lasts. Wish me luck. Something tells me I’m going to need it.