In America: A Lexicon

Well, I just covered up in a towel so a dog wouldn't have to look at me, so that's where I'm at with that. I think I watched too many 90s sitcoms which have given me the complex that they have thoughts and platforms. Basically I didn't want to be judged by an animal and... Continue Reading →

Bronze

Oh hello on a Friday. I'm 38 now. I do what I want. Due to health concerns, family ruckus and obligatory Olympic dedication, I decided to take last week off. If the energy of the last blog I posted was any indication, I think it was best for all of us. In fact, you're welcome.... Continue Reading →

LFG

I got my apps all downloaded. I got my devices amped and ready. I've been following the torch. Bring on the Olympics. I'll be living on Tokyo time and it looks like I won't be sleeping for 14 days. Totally worth it. Can't wait. I told my brother's fiancé she's lucky her shower doesn't overlap... Continue Reading →

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Ahoy there! Well it happened - I bought two shirts THAT AREN'T BLACK!!! Insert confetti and prizes here. I also bought the same shirt in three different colors, so there's that as well. I like what I like. I don't think I'm ever going to be remembered for my fashion choices. I contemplated buying biker... Continue Reading →

inward

I woke up this morning to a Taco Bell fiesta pack at my door that I didn't order. So that was an interesting way to start the day. In other random news, a woman in Ohio was arrested for beating someone with a 10 pound beef log. My friend posted a video of his neighbor... Continue Reading →

unkindness

Hi, I'd like one ticket to Normal-land and a bottomless strawberry margarita...and a cupcake. Everyone through with their panic purchasing? You all set with your Burger King cup of gasoline, Gary? Did you store it on top of your TP I'm sure you still have stockpiled in the closet from a year ago that you... Continue Reading →

Looking Out

Holy shit. Everyone stop what you're doing. Gwyneth Paltrow ate bread ladies and gentlemen. That was her lockdown low. If that's her idea of "going off the rails", I imagine she would consider my life a tragedy on an Oedipus scale. Is she for real? There was a day I ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner... Continue Reading →

goodness

I have been plagued by crickets. They're after my soul. I didn't sleep for almost a week because of a cricket outside of my door. Apparently it's mating season. Congratulations, but you can't do that here. At my breaking point, I grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and went out into the courtyard like... Continue Reading →

storyteller

You know how you see things on TV or in the movies and you're like - how stupid are you? Flashback to this weekend when I text someone, 'Houston, there no tp in here SOS!' to which the response was, 'You're in Houston?' And this is when I realized I had text the wrong person.... Continue Reading →

take my breath away

My biggest love affair to date has been with the outdoors. Still managing to take my breath away all these years later. This picture makes me so happy. I saw it at a nature preserve in North Carolina and I stood staring at it for ages. It's beautiful...the way the light finds its way through... Continue Reading →

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