I’ll Scream

If you haven't posted a picture with #vaccinated in the caption, are you even real? Meanwhile, I've learned that I've been putting trash bags on wrong my entire life. Apparently you're supposed to wrap the top around the bin and then push down which means mine have been inside out since forever. Google it. But... Continue Reading →

Cancelled

I have heard more thunder in LA in the last 24 hours than all my years living here combined and I've never felt more alive. I love a storm. There's something magical about it - like the universe has let out a sigh. It's a weather cuddle really - which is all I've ever wanted.... Continue Reading →

Boop!

I still don't know what "hedge funds" are or wtf a bitcoin is but I do know if you aren't buying wine from Ralph's/Kroger by the 6-pack, you're doing it wrong. I paid $66 for what should have been over $200 of wine and bubbles. Even the cashier went 'SHIT!' after he saw the total.... Continue Reading →

this way to CrazyTown

I feel like I'm on that ride at state fairs where you just spin and spin and spin. You know the one no person in their right mind would voluntarily get on because it looks like it could fall apart at any moment and also, why? I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety for... Continue Reading →

to Be or not to Be

Just sitting here writing to the hum of multiple helicopters in the air above my apartment looking for two men at large with guns...no big deal. Good to be back, LA. Fun times. I hope everyone survived the most boring Superbowl of all time. You know it's bad when the streaker is the most exciting... Continue Reading →

MegaMillions

I found myself on the brink of buying a rooster utensil holder at 1 in the morning the other night, so you could say I'm DOING FINE. Luckily I had a friend tell me I should sleep on it - THANK YOU FRIEND. Don't worry, I had 18 other tabs of options open. Eezy breezy... Continue Reading →

Bits n’ Pieces

We're practically one month into 2021 and, at this point, I think everyone is living for that light at the end of the tunnel, whatever it may be. That trip that got postponed, that hug you haven't felt in months, that person you need to see, that show that got cancelled, that place you're dying... Continue Reading →

Remember Me This Way

Well it's official. Jill's husband is our 46th President. I don't care if you're right-winged, left-winged, webbed-footed, black, blue, or blind - how Trump left the White House was childish and displayed a complete lack of character. It has been 152 years since a living President has not attended his successor's inauguration. 152 years. Have... Continue Reading →

That’s Us

We aren't even 20 days into this year and I feel like I've seen all I need to see. I'm good. Are you good? The only thing keeping me on this ride, frankly, is that hockey came back last night which is distracting me from gouging my eyes out Oedipus-style at that fact that Harbaugh's... Continue Reading →

Merry & Bright

'Hi' she says musically peeking from behind a corner with a mixture of mischief, apologies and trepidation. I know, I know - I ghosted you like a loser who snuck out the window in the middle of the night but is that a 2020 way to end the year or what? C'mon, you've let worse... Continue Reading →

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