Too Much

A year into this thing and it's starting to feel like that one roadtrip to Florida when we were "almost there" for what felt like a quarter of my life. Don't worry, by June we'll be in the -insert whatever color you want here- tier. OH WILL WE MARGO?! Don't you dare get my hopes... Continue Reading →

this way to CrazyTown

I feel like I'm on that ride at state fairs where you just spin and spin and spin. You know the one no person in their right mind would voluntarily get on because it looks like it could fall apart at any moment and also, why? I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety for... Continue Reading →

Greek•ish

Happy post Scorpio conception day! At least everyone knows where they stand in their relationships now. And if you're trying to figure out an LA relationship - GOOD LUCK! - she yells through a megaphone with a very sarcastic thumbs up. I was at the grocery over the weekend feeling attacked by the Cupid inspired... Continue Reading →

That’s Us

We aren't even 20 days into this year and I feel like I've seen all I need to see. I'm good. Are you good? The only thing keeping me on this ride, frankly, is that hockey came back last night which is distracting me from gouging my eyes out Oedipus-style at that fact that Harbaugh's... Continue Reading →

Merry & Bright

'Hi' she says musically peeking from behind a corner with a mixture of mischief, apologies and trepidation. I know, I know - I ghosted you like a loser who snuck out the window in the middle of the night but is that a 2020 way to end the year or what? C'mon, you've let worse... Continue Reading →

But Why?

This portion of quarantine has been brought to you by irrational emotions, boredom, cheesesteaks and Jeopardy! .  I mean, the majority of this year has been strange and mostly sad but now it's just gone flat-out 87 shades of wack-a-doo. LA has been put on a curfew 'til Christmas. Ohio has literally become the town... Continue Reading →

Red, White & Who?

Well, well, well...the whole world is watching and from the looks of it, the fate of this country is in the hands of a bunch of strippers and chain smoking penny slotters. A well executed 2020 plot twist. As the mayor of Vegas, I did NOT see this coming. Not in a million bajillion eleventy-million... Continue Reading →

One Singular Sensation

I did this crazy thing the other day and found myself in the midst of a phone call because I made the extremely uncharacteristic choice of answering. Albeit, my phone deciding to ring at all was probably the most remarkable trait of the situation. My friend said, "I can't even write 2020 without wanting to... Continue Reading →

SHIFTing

2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin.  And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all.  This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →

Shake it Off

Alright, which of the gods hate me?  The one night I finally fall asleep like the damn Disney princess I know is inside of me somewhere yearning to be free and  EARTHQUAKES.ALL.NIGHT.  In my ten years living in LA, I've never been woken up by an earthquake.  I'm the girl that sleeps through the earthquakes. ... Continue Reading →

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