NonEssential

How are all those languages coming along?  Remember when a bat ruined my chances at ever seeing Hamilton or having sex?  Oh man...let's see...let me look at these tallies I've been making on my wall with lipstick I'll never wear again...it's day eleventy-five of this quarantine and so far my kitchen has flooded, I've murdered... Continue Reading →

Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Scary Movie Life

Well it's happened.  I am living my nightmare, starring in my own horror film.  Something I never thought possible.  (sigh) I didn't have a single sip of alcohol on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm a failure to myself, my family and all of Ireland.  I feel shame.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  This... Continue Reading →

My Mayhem

Well, some of us ran the L.A. marathon and some of us drank ten pounds of champagne and woke up in a 2 year old's room.  Wedding showers, am I right?  Get a group of girls together before the sun sets and you better clear the streets.  Talk about rebels without a cause.  Cause here's... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

Bless You

I spent my Sunday night being a basic bitch with a little paint and sip action.  This painting started as a wedding gift...ten years ago.  No joke.  I ended up not going to said wedding and they have since divorced.  So it has been behind my couch since 2010 collecting dust...until now.  I'm not quite... Continue Reading →

Funkytown

Whatawonderfullifeitiswhenyourspacebarworks.  I was a few seconds away from chucking my computer into the wall in a fit of rage.  I don't get a temper often...but when I do, I light things on fire.  Dear, Mercury.  Please explode.  Mercury is in retrograde and all communication and technology has been rendered useless.  And maybe you're not the... Continue Reading →

No Fair

It has been A WEEK.  I'm writing this on day 3 of a fever so I'm hopped up on narcotics and pretty much delirious so proceed with caution.  I was thinking about Game of Thrones as the series comes to an end and a lot of this could have been avoided if any of them... Continue Reading →

Eye of the Storm

Well January, you came in hot.  I can quite honestly say the majority of the time I have no idea what's going on.  Between writing, reading, funerals, work, group texts, weddings, drama for yo mama and engagements, all I can do is throw my hands up in the air and hope the wind carries me... Continue Reading →

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