Too Much

A year into this thing and it's starting to feel like that one roadtrip to Florida when we were "almost there" for what felt like a quarter of my life. Don't worry, by June we'll be in the -insert whatever color you want here- tier. OH WILL WE MARGO?! Don't you dare get my hopes... Continue Reading →

Boop!

I still don't know what "hedge funds" are or wtf a bitcoin is but I do know if you aren't buying wine from Ralph's/Kroger by the 6-pack, you're doing it wrong. I paid $66 for what should have been over $200 of wine and bubbles. Even the cashier went 'SHIT!' after he saw the total.... Continue Reading →

Greek•ish

Happy post Scorpio conception day! At least everyone knows where they stand in their relationships now. And if you're trying to figure out an LA relationship - GOOD LUCK! - she yells through a megaphone with a very sarcastic thumbs up. I was at the grocery over the weekend feeling attacked by the Cupid inspired... Continue Reading →

to Be or not to Be

Just sitting here writing to the hum of multiple helicopters in the air above my apartment looking for two men at large with guns...no big deal. Good to be back, LA. Fun times. I hope everyone survived the most boring Superbowl of all time. You know it's bad when the streaker is the most exciting... Continue Reading →

MegaMillions

I found myself on the brink of buying a rooster utensil holder at 1 in the morning the other night, so you could say I'm DOING FINE. Luckily I had a friend tell me I should sleep on it - THANK YOU FRIEND. Don't worry, I had 18 other tabs of options open. Eezy breezy... Continue Reading →

Merry & Bright

'Hi' she says musically peeking from behind a corner with a mixture of mischief, apologies and trepidation. I know, I know - I ghosted you like a loser who snuck out the window in the middle of the night but is that a 2020 way to end the year or what? C'mon, you've let worse... Continue Reading →

The Meltdown

Well this week has been FULL OF SURPRISES!!! I received word that I was hired for my dream job and will now be PAID money to watch holiday films and write reviews! I met a man while I was out for a run and he's amazing! No psycho characteristics detected yet thus far. He's also... Continue Reading →

Detained

A friend sent me a video of Christina Aguilera singing the part in Genie in a Bottle 'I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights' on repeat and I've never felt more heard. And if this isn't the cherry on top of the WHO MADE THIS AND WHAT THE... Continue Reading →

Unimaginable

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and yet this year continues to surprise me on a catastrophic level. Today I worked out with a handle of vodka and a magnum bottle of wine. When in Rome, right? Or Indy. Whatever. I tried watching Jeopardy! while working out and just some advice, don't. Not... Continue Reading →

Little Psychos

I carved a pumpkin for the first time in my adult life.  Felt pretty good about it.  That said pumpkin is already decayed and molded due to sweating-just-standing-here degree weather in October because THIS IS WHERE THE DEVIL LIVES.  Thank you, LA.  Alas, it's finally less than 100 degrees in LA and my sweet little... Continue Reading →

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