My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
Well, well, well...the whole world is watching and from the looks of it, the fate of this country is in the hands of a bunch of strippers and chain smoking penny slotters. A well executed 2020 plot twist. As the mayor of Vegas, I did NOT see this coming. Not in a million bajillion eleventy-million... Continue Reading →
I carved a pumpkin for the first time in my adult life. Felt pretty good about it. That said pumpkin is already decayed and molded due to sweating-just-standing-here degree weather in October because THIS IS WHERE THE DEVIL LIVES. Thank you, LA. Alas, it's finally less than 100 degrees in LA and my sweet little... Continue Reading →
While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →
Day 11 of Whole30 and what I wouldn't give to smash my face into a magnum bottle of malbec right now. Or a merlot soaked gouda. Or a cupcake. Or a candy apple covered in fruity pebbles. Is it candy or candied? Who cares. My mouth is legit watering. The amount of times I've murmured... Continue Reading →
2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin. And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all. This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →
Alright, which of the gods hate me? The one night I finally fall asleep like the damn Disney princess I know is inside of me somewhere yearning to be free and EARTHQUAKES.ALL.NIGHT. In my ten years living in LA, I've never been woken up by an earthquake. I'm the girl that sleeps through the earthquakes. ... Continue Reading →
I'm baAAAaaaAAAAck! As three of you might have noticed, I went off the grid in a major way. I needed a recess, a pause from the monotony, an escape from the claustrophobia that is quarantine. We all know I'm a girl who survives off adventure and it got way too groundhog day around here, so... Continue Reading →
While everyone else is fighting about masks and creating avatars, I'm at the 'I watched The Shining for the first time by myself on a Sunday afternoon' portion of my quarantine. (please send help) Meanwhile, my neighbor is at the 'I was doing yoga and my elbow popped out of socket' section of her pandemic. ... Continue Reading →
Do you feel like life is passing you by? Do you find that there's not enough time in a day? Are you having difficulty making space for yourself? Try doing a plank for two minutes. TIME HAS NEVER MOVED SO SLOW. Hands down, the worst 120 seconds of your life. Everything is about perspective, is... Continue Reading →
How is everyone holding up out there? We doing ok? You shaved your head yet? Figure out what anyone is talking about? Everyone good on tissue products? STILL haven't bought TP by the way. Couldn't even if I wanted to because some of your friends are (said in a whisper) batshit crazy. I was laying... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 