Remember Me This Way

Well it's official. Jill's husband is our 46th President. I don't care if you're right-winged, left-winged, webbed-footed, black, blue, or blind - how Trump left the White House was childish and displayed a complete lack of character. It has been 152 years since a living President has not attended his successor's inauguration. 152 years. Have... Continue Reading →

That’s Us

We aren't even 20 days into this year and I feel like I've seen all I need to see. I'm good. Are you good? The only thing keeping me on this ride, frankly, is that hockey came back last night which is distracting me from gouging my eyes out Oedipus-style at that fact that Harbaugh's... Continue Reading →

Merry & Bright

'Hi' she says musically peeking from behind a corner with a mixture of mischief, apologies and trepidation. I know, I know - I ghosted you like a loser who snuck out the window in the middle of the night but is that a 2020 way to end the year or what? C'mon, you've let worse... Continue Reading →

The Meltdown

Well this week has been FULL OF SURPRISES!!! I received word that I was hired for my dream job and will now be PAID money to watch holiday films and write reviews! I met a man while I was out for a run and he's amazing! No psycho characteristics detected yet thus far. He's also... Continue Reading →

Detained

A friend sent me a video of Christina Aguilera singing the part in Genie in a Bottle 'I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights' on repeat and I've never felt more heard. And if this isn't the cherry on top of the WHO MADE THIS AND WHAT THE... Continue Reading →

SPANGLED FOR 500

I don't know what days are anymore.  I keep thinking today is Friday.  Everyday should be Friday moving forward.  At this point, why not?  Who cares?  So what?  Regardless of what day it is, America has spoken.  Jill's husband has been elected the 46th President of the United States.  I think?  I'm no political aficionado... Continue Reading →

Little Psychos

I carved a pumpkin for the first time in my adult life.  Felt pretty good about it.  That said pumpkin is already decayed and molded due to sweating-just-standing-here degree weather in October because THIS IS WHERE THE DEVIL LIVES.  Thank you, LA.  Alas, it's finally less than 100 degrees in LA and my sweet little... Continue Reading →

Around the Bend

Honestly, how is it Thursday again? The Bengals already lost again? I can't even remember what I did yesterday. Who's on First? What happened to Monday and where are my pants? You ever wonder if you're really just an avatar and someone out there is severely disappointed in your performance? Are we the topics of... Continue Reading →

Sweet Sorrows

While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →

Revival

It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →

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