Awfully Amazing

Saw a man walking down the street in a mask he had crafted with a Crown Royal bag so I really think America is finally getting it together.  Then three seconds later a bee kamikazee-ed his way into my breakfast while a bird took a shit that landed inches away from my elbow.  10 minutes... Continue Reading →

O Positive

Nobody panic.  Not only did I accidentally send my favorite spoon through the garbage disposal and am I starting to look like Frankenstein's bride, but we've reached the multiple waterspout portion of the pandemic.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, please pause and google immediately.  I'll wait... ...That's right, water is going up... Continue Reading →

SHIFTing

2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin.  And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all.  This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →

Execution of Excellence

I'm baAAAaaaAAAAck!  As three of you might have noticed, I went off the grid in a major way.  I needed a recess, a pause from the monotony, an escape from the claustrophobia that is quarantine.  We all know I'm a girl who survives off adventure and it got way too groundhog day around here, so... Continue Reading →

Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Scary Movie Life

Well it's happened.  I am living my nightmare, starring in my own horror film.  Something I never thought possible.  (sigh) I didn't have a single sip of alcohol on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm a failure to myself, my family and all of Ireland.  I feel shame.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  This... Continue Reading →

My Mayhem

Well, some of us ran the L.A. marathon and some of us drank ten pounds of champagne and woke up in a 2 year old's room.  Wedding showers, am I right?  Get a group of girls together before the sun sets and you better clear the streets.  Talk about rebels without a cause.  Cause here's... Continue Reading →

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