My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
Holy shit. Everyone stop what you're doing. Gwyneth Paltrow ate bread ladies and gentlemen. That was her lockdown low. If that's her idea of "going off the rails", I imagine she would consider my life a tragedy on an Oedipus scale. Is she for real? There was a day I ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner... Continue Reading →
I have been plagued by crickets. They're after my soul. I didn't sleep for almost a week because of a cricket outside of my door. Apparently it's mating season. Congratulations, but you can't do that here. At my breaking point, I grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and went out into the courtyard like... Continue Reading →
Remember that one time I signed up for a HIIT class, totally forgot, was reminded a minute before it started and was for sure still in bed eating a sandwich? Yes, you read that correctly and no, I don't need your judgement. I only threw up in my mouth twice. Then I laid on the... Continue Reading →
Day 11 of Whole30 and what I wouldn't give to smash my face into a magnum bottle of malbec right now. Or a merlot soaked gouda. Or a cupcake. Or a candy apple covered in fruity pebbles. Is it candy or candied? Who cares. My mouth is legit watering. The amount of times I've murmured... Continue Reading →
2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin. And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all. This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →
I swear J-Lo is taunting me. Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face. You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations. I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties. I've never looked like that. So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →
Remember the year Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt stole MLK day? Oh my good lord, can everyone calm down? They're not getting back together. Ever. Just like Obama isn't going to be president again. The time has passed. Move on. Are we all forgetting that Brad cheated on Jen with Angelina I-wore-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck Jolie and then... Continue Reading →
Another week into 2020 and here we are. I cannot express to you how boring my life is right now. I cook, I sleep, I work, I write. Rinse. Repeat. My social life has taken a real hit. And by real hit, I mean it's non-existent. On one hand it's quite relieving to say no... Continue Reading →
Finally watching Mandalorian while it's raining outside and my heart is so full! Please give me more rainy days. I miss the rain. I miss the thunder and the lightning and how it creates this symphony of nature. I know rain is correlated with sadness and depression but it brings me a sense of rebirth. ... Continue Reading →
I am currently watching The Mistletoe Secret on the Hallmark channel and, truth be told, it should have stayed a secret. Yikes. And if I say that, that it must be really bad because I love romance more than you love your boyfriend. I am a hooker for corny rom-coms but I vote NO to... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 