Finally watching Mandalorian while it’s raining outside and my heart is so full!  Please give me more rainy days.  I miss the rain.  I miss the thunder and the lightning and how it creates this symphony of nature.  I know rain is correlated with sadness and depression but it brings me a sense of rebirth.  A lot of this has to do with where I live, which is 90% sunshine all the time.  Mr. Sun makes it hard to be lazy.  There’s a sense of guilt with not feeling accomplished when it’s sunny and 75 outside all week long.  When it rains, I finally feel like I can breathe.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, like the rain washed away all of the expectations I had for myself in that moment.  I have a hard time standing still and rain lets me…be.  It’s my my sigh of relief and my sanctuary.  I feel like it’s someone telling me it’s okay to relax.  I went to see a Chopin performance last night by candlelight and it was pure magic.  With the rain and the chill in the air, it was a giant hug.  I realize I sound beyond existential and a little guru right now and I should probably take it down a notch but this is what rain does to me!  Sometimes I feel so heavy with all of the things I hold on to and I let everything go – if only for a night.

I’ve always told people I want to start a revolution.  Not only to lift the curtains on the real problems behind our government and shed light on the smokescreens we are all distracted with but to make people see themselves and the world differently.  I am so serious when I say our brains all need a serious rewiring.  How we associate pre-existing notions with clothing and trends and songs and colors and cities is so infuriating.   It’s like everything was already decided for us and trying to teach anyone anything new or different seems impossible because they already think they know everything.  Let’s wipe the slate clean and start over and then maybe, MAYBE, the world will finally be a better place.  I want a world based on love and understanding and equality that travels over centuries and if that’s far fetched, if that’s too much to ask for, if that’s “unrealistic”, then maybe I’m not a woman of this time.  The inventors and creatives are notoriously known for being the “weirdos” of the bunch and I will gladly take that role.  Anything but normal.

Speaking of normal, my friend stopped over for a visit the other night and when she saw me, she goes, “Are you on drugs?”  I was like, “Uhhhh, not that I’m aware of, why?”  I looked in the mirror and my left eye was fully dilated while my right eye was not, which explained why I was having a hard time seeing out of my left eye.  I figured my contact went rogue – she does that from time to time.  So I googled it, which is always a fun gamble to turn to for medical diagnosis.  I either had a stroke and didn’t realize it, something was wrong with my nervous system OR I was just tired.  Wow, wow-ee!  What options.  These are not good options for the hypochondriac living inside of me.  Yeah, I was tired.  I’M ALWAYS TIRED.  If you are ever sitting there wondering how I’m doing – I’M TIRED.  So why would my eye do this thing tonight?  Now?  After 36 years of life?  My body be crazy yo.  Which is apropos cause I’m crazy:

I made a little pit stop in Vegas while I was working and I must say, it was a success.  My friend and I were leaving a bar late one night and happened across the Wheel of Fortune game, which we are suckers for.  So we stopped to play.  All of a sudden I’m getting spins on spins on spins and then the bell rings and my machine is going nuts and lights are flashing.  What did we do?  LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.  Then a blinking screen came up informing us we needed to find assistance so we just started yelling, “HOUSEKEEPING!!”  Anything can happen, folks.  We finally learned how to play Craps.  Saw Fleetwood Mac’s last concert of their tour.  …”Thunder only happens when it’s raining…” (sigh)…I really do love that town.  For me that place represents no worries, which is really when I’m my best self.  Vegas is my thundercoat.  I feel invincible when I’m there and it’s a nice recharge.

Did I stay on the Whole30 while travelling , you ask?  YOU BET I DID.  I did drink but I only drank vodka with water and lemon.  If I can do Whole30 through the Superbowl, Thanksgiving, in Vegas and in Nashville with four grown men – I am not only a psycho but a woman of incredible strength and willpower.  The mind really is a force to be reckoned with when you commit.  I know it’s been said and posted on walls in schools since the 80s but whether or not you think you’re capable of something, you’re right.  Find your happy in the rain, challenge yourself to do things you think you can’t do, resist your routine and try something different, take a leap of faith.  Imagine a world full of people who believed in themselves.  What an incredible world that would be.  Rain is just nature’s sparkle.  And you can’t be afraid of a little rain when you’re the whole storm.  Join my revolution.


NOTE:  The picture for today’s blog was taken while I was in Würzburg, Germany.


by Niklas Deininger

This statue is said to be a victim of bureaucracy.  The administration of Würzburg was of the opinion that the stairs seen could not be noticed easily and were dangerous.  So the museum responsible for this square was told to build a handrail in order to mark the stairs.  The museum decided to mark the stairs with a work of art which is the sitting man bound with bandages covering everything but his head.  The statue looks up into the sky symbolizing that you can tie a person down physically but you can never take away his or her intellectual freedom.  A perfect symbol of the power of our mind. Xx


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