What is Love?

I’ve found myself in a lot of conversations about love lately.  Where is it?  How do you keep it?  Does it exist?  Why haven’t I found it?  Who has it?  Can you buy it?  There’s all kinds of love out there.  There’s the love you have for your friends and family, the love you share with your significant other, the love of those from your past, the love you try to ignore, the love you can’t fight anymore and the love that will burn inside of you until the day you die.  I LOVE love.  For those of you who know me, this comes at no surprise.  Not because it’s messy or risky or an endless first drop of a rollercoaster, but because it’s hopeful and safe and it feels like home.

According to Greek Mythology, the first humans were born with two heads, four arms and four legs.  Zeus feared their strength and worried they would try to overpower his rule, so he did what any man would do.  He cut them all in half.  Humans were left to wander alone on Earth forever searching for their one true soulmate.  And let me just get this out in the universe, Zeus was fundamentally psychotic – don’t even get me started on Medusa.  She is now known as the crazy scary snake-haired lady because someone couldn’t keep his thang-thang in his pants.  Zeus was basically the Weinstein of Greek mythology.  Insert dry heave here.  So when people say they are looking for their other half, perhaps they truly are.

Growing up, I always found it enchanting that in books and movies, spells and magic could never interfere with love.  It cannot be conjured or forced or contrived.  It simply exists.  You have to find those people that compliment your kind of love.  Love is a Jenga game so make sure you choose someone who is as careful as you are.  Not only do you have to find someone you’re physically attracted to but they have to love the same way you do.  It very much an organ donor escape room of epic proportions.  It’s very much why online dating is something I can’t wrap my head around because it’s so much more than someone’s profile.  There’s a soul to it.  There’s an absolute composition to it.  It’s a feeling that you won’t find on a screen.

Love can be anything to anyone.  Love is in a person’s eyes.  Love is a dance in the afternoon when there is no music.  Love is driving the 405 in rush hour traffic.  Love is never letting someone feel like they’re an inconvenience.  Love is putting someone else before you every.single.time.  Love is a choice.  While it may not always start off this way, love is deliberate.  Love is a s’more on a cold day.  Love is snuggly and charming and occasionally eye-rolling.  Love makes things real and it makes you feel alright.  Love gives you Wonder Woman cuffs.  Love gives you everything in a basket filled with nothing.  Love is a promise.  Love binds your soul to another.  Love will be the best fight of your life.  Love will open your eyes to that which you could not see before.  Love is about making choices in the name of happiness which isn’t necessarily your own.  Love is watching golf on a Sunday…and you hate golf.  Love makes us better people.  Love reminds us to listen, to build bridges and to set our ego aside.  Love is the utopia that only exists in our imaginations.

Love is what some people spend their whole lives looking for and what so many others become unsatisfied with.  Sometimes you think you’ve found love and it slips from your grip.  Sometimes people love themselves so much, they have very little love to give.  Sometimes love is temporary.  Not all things were meant to last forever.  Love can be finicky and cruel.  The ambush you never saw coming.  Love can move mountains or make you feel like you’re climbing one.  Love is not easy.  It isn’t always convenient.  It can be excruciatingly difficult.  It can tear you apart.  It can send you into a mental labyrinth and it can turn your world upside down if you let it.  Love is a minx.  Love is the biggest puzzle of all.  I’ve also been told love is waking up in the middle of the night, looking at a person and choosing not to kill them.

I believe in the power of love the way I believe happy hour.  I know the strength that comes with knowing you have someone in your corner.   I know that feeling when someone else becomes your bubble.  It’s like tunnel vision in a crowded room.  I know what it’s like when your world gets smaller and simultaneously feels so much bigger than it was before.  I know what it’s like when one opinion becomes so much more important than the masses.  I know what it’s like for one person to constantly creep into the pockets of your mind.  I know what it’s like when someone else’s presence dictates the beating of your heart.

Love cannot be rushed or hunted down.  If you want to get it right and if you want it to be good, it’ll be worth the wait.  It’ll be worth everything you’ve endured up until that point.  It’ll make sense and it’ll be the right time and it’ll be far greater than you could have imagined.  And if you’ve already found love, you treat it 100% better than that giga pet you had in the 90s.  Nourish and rejuvenate and ensure it’s survival.  If you’ve lost it, I pray you were left with memories that give your heart the shivers.  When you find love again, I hope you let it melt into your veins and soar impossibly.  I believe there is love out there for everyone. Even the mean lady who never smiles and says she’s allergic to onions when really she just doesn’t like them should be loved.  Even you.


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