Sweet Sorrows

While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →

The Culling

What a week it has been, especially in the United States of WTF is going on America. My.God. Stand back Schitt's Creek, because this was BY FAR the best comedy of the year. For those of you who watched the (dramatic pause with a big long sigh)..."debate"...I really hope you were drinking. For those of... Continue Reading →

Empty Chairs & Empty Tables

Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing.  My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest.  What are standards?  Tell me all about them.  Sign me up for the Biggest Loser:  Quarantine Edition.  I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night.  I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Potion Sky

If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book.  Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people.  I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert.  I love talking but also crave silence.  I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks.  I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →

My Funny GALentine

Well it's the day before Valentine's Day so I obviously have a lot to say.  I recommend a stiff drink or case of wine.  It's Thursday.  Treat yourself.  I celebrated by eating a pound of queso yesterday.  Whoopsie.  Back to Whole30 I go.  In the spirit of being a broke ass ho, I stayed in... Continue Reading →

Hot Body

I swear J-Lo is taunting me.  Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face.  You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations.  I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties.  I've never looked like that.  So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →

The Price of Love

Remember the year Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt stole MLK day?  Oh my good lord, can everyone calm down?  They're not getting back together.  Ever.  Just like Obama isn't going to be president again.  The time has passed.  Move on.  Are we all forgetting that Brad cheated on Jen with Angelina I-wore-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck Jolie and then... Continue Reading →

An Ember in the Night

Another week into 2020 and here we are.  I cannot express to you how boring my life is right now.  I cook, I sleep, I work, I write.  Rinse.  Repeat.  My social life has taken a real hit.  And by real hit, I mean it's non-existent.  On one hand it's quite relieving to say no... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

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