That’s Us

We aren't even 20 days into this year and I feel like I've seen all I need to see. I'm good. Are you good? The only thing keeping me on this ride, frankly, is that hockey came back last night which is distracting me from gouging my eyes out Oedipus-style at that fact that Harbaugh's... Continue Reading →

Detained

A friend sent me a video of Christina Aguilera singing the part in Genie in a Bottle 'I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights' on repeat and I've never felt more heard. And if this isn't the cherry on top of the WHO MADE THIS AND WHAT THE... Continue Reading →

SPANGLED FOR 500

I don't know what days are anymore.  I keep thinking today is Friday.  Everyday should be Friday moving forward.  At this point, why not?  Who cares?  So what?  Regardless of what day it is, America has spoken.  Jill's husband has been elected the 46th President of the United States.  I think?  I'm no political aficionado... Continue Reading →

Sweet Sorrows

While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →

The Culling

What a week it has been, especially in the United States of WTF is going on America. My.God. Stand back Schitt's Creek, because this was BY FAR the best comedy of the year. For those of you who watched the (dramatic pause with a big long sigh)..."debate"...I really hope you were drinking. For those of... Continue Reading →

Empty Chairs & Empty Tables

Aaaaaaaaaaand my belly-button is missing.  My life has become a never ending Oktoberfest.  What are standards?  Tell me all about them.  Sign me up for the Biggest Loser:  Quarantine Edition.  I had two boxes of Lean Pockets and a cherry coke for dinner the other night.  I had one friend who was giving me a... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Potion Sky

If I could live anywhere, it would be inside of a book.  Cause let's be honest, I don't like a lot of people but I also love a lot of people.  I've recently discovered I'm an introverted extrovert.  I love talking but also crave silence.  I'm a walking contradictions, which tracks.  I'll want to dance... Continue Reading →

My Funny GALentine

Well it's the day before Valentine's Day so I obviously have a lot to say.  I recommend a stiff drink or case of wine.  It's Thursday.  Treat yourself.  I celebrated by eating a pound of queso yesterday.  Whoopsie.  Back to Whole30 I go.  In the spirit of being a broke ass ho, I stayed in... Continue Reading →

Hot Body

I swear J-Lo is taunting me.  Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face.  You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations.  I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties.  I've never looked like that.  So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →

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