I woke up this morning to a Taco Bell fiesta pack at my door that I didn’t order. So that was an interesting way to start the day. In other random news, a woman in Ohio was arrested for beating someone with a 10 pound beef log. My friend posted a video of his neighbor in a lawn chair on the driveway brushing his teeth wearing nothing but pajama pants and an ankle monitor. Talk about a white boy summer. Not that it matters, but this was also in Ohio. Ohio giving Florida a run for its money. My hot girl summer starts in 36 days: TOKYO OLYMPICS!!!! I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!! I discovered NBC has an Olympic channel – so real talk, I might not leave my apartment till August. The swimming trials have been on all week so I think everyone can guess what I’ve been up to. The trials are almost better than the actual Olympics as far as competition. It’s a bit heartbreaking that a lot of these kids won’t make the Olympic team even though they’re faster than 95% of the swimmers who will compete. But alas, life is not fair. I will say I’m seeing a lot of nose plugs this year which is…interesting. I can hear the trumpets already – I’m giddy just thinking about it.
I am currently in the midst of a very heated quarrel with a man named Ashishi on Paypal. Let me explain why…
The jacket on the left is what I bought. The jacket on the right is what was delivered. I mean, EXCUSE ME? I legit have no words. (she says as she types words) I sent this as a birthday gift and my friend, god bless her soul, sent me a picture wearing it, somehow with a smile, and I was like – WTF IS THAT?! TAKE THAT OFF IMMEDIATELY!!!! And then I just kept apologizing and promising that those responsible would be sacked. Ashishi maintains that these are the same jackets and that it’s just the lighting. Um, give me a break. I informed him he had 48 hours to reimburse me before I contacted the Better Business Bureau and escalated the claim. Karma will find you Ashishi. All I was trying to do was buy a kickass jacket for a friend and she ended up having to pretend to like a jacket that looks like it was stitched together by Playskool, a ‘Nailed IT!’ version AT BEST, and question our friendship entirely. Look what you’ve done Ashishi!!!!! So in case anyone was thinking about making a purchase with The Jacket Factory – maybe don’t. If you do, tell Ashishi I said hi. Hoodwinker.
Naomi Osaka left the French Open for mental health issues and no one shuts up about it, Lebron James leaves the court with more than 5 minutes left in a playoff game and no one says a word. Before I dive into that soapbox, let me just say that Naomi should have kept playing, kept skipping the interviews, paid the fines and won the tournament just to prove a point. That would have been a queen move. Anyways, back to Lebron James. What a boo-hoo loser. And this isn’t the first time he’s done it. There is no comparison to Jordan – that conversation is over. He can do all the Space Jams he wants. Jordan is what Lebron will never be. No contest. Trust me, I understand things get emotional and losing isn’t fun, but you finish what you started. You play the game. You don’t leave the court without an injury because you’re losing and you don’t like it. What kind of example is that?? This guy has kids! How embarrassing. His coach made some bing bong excuse that he was going to get his treatments started early for the must-win game 6. Insert eyeroll here. YEAH.RIGHT. And even if it was (it wasn’t), I think it can wait five minutes. He abandoned his teammates and behaved like a garbage person. Bad sportsmanship is not a good look. I don’t understand why his consistent bad behavior is accepted. People have been made to apologize for much less.
I was sitting with my mom at midnight in Ohio when the mask order was lifted and it was like – well I guess COVID is over…? CA has finally caught up with the rest of the country. Congratulations everyone! You don’t have to wear masks anymore…unless you do. Here is fine. Not there. Good luck out there. My friend and I were walking to the car after dinner. She was wearing a mask because she’s an American and that is her choice. A truck pulled up alongside us screaming and hollering about COVID being over and wtf was she wearing a mask and on and on…I mean, it was to the point our server came running around the corner to make sure we were ok. WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! How does her wearing a mask effect you in any way?! Drive along, SIR! I don’t understand why people are incapable of letting other people make choices they wouldn’t necessarily make for themselves. Why is that so hard? People make decisions on the daily that make my head want to implode but guess what? Not my life. Why can’t we all bestow that same grace on to one another? I think it would do the world some good if we stopped putting so much energy into what what everyone else is doing. Mind your business. Look inward. The last year has been a lot. Everyone is coming out of it at their own pace. Be kind. Have a great week. Except for you Ashishi. I hope your week sucks. K bye. Xx
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