My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
Hi, I'd like one ticket to Normal-land and a bottomless strawberry margarita...and a cupcake. Everyone through with their panic purchasing? You all set with your Burger King cup of gasoline, Gary? Did you store it on top of your TP I'm sure you still have stockpiled in the closet from a year ago that you... Continue Reading →
Holy shit. Everyone stop what you're doing. Gwyneth Paltrow ate bread ladies and gentlemen. That was her lockdown low. If that's her idea of "going off the rails", I imagine she would consider my life a tragedy on an Oedipus scale. Is she for real? There was a day I ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner... Continue Reading →
I have been plagued by crickets. They're after my soul. I didn't sleep for almost a week because of a cricket outside of my door. Apparently it's mating season. Congratulations, but you can't do that here. At my breaking point, I grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and went out into the courtyard like... Continue Reading →
You know how you see things on TV or in the movies and you're like - how stupid are you? Flashback to this weekend when I text someone, 'Houston, there no tp in here SOS!' to which the response was, 'You're in Houston?' And this is when I realized I had text the wrong person.... Continue Reading →
My biggest love affair to date has been with the outdoors. Still managing to take my breath away all these years later. This picture makes me so happy. I saw it at a nature preserve in North Carolina and I stood staring at it for ages. It's beautiful...the way the light finds its way through... Continue Reading →
In an effort to embrace life, be a little kinder to myself and enjoy the company surrounding me, I pulled a Houdini and vanished for a bit. In signature style, when I put my mind to something, I'm all in. I really went for it. Did some mountain stuff, chased some waterfalls, did some sun... Continue Reading →
A year into this thing and it's starting to feel like that one roadtrip to Florida when we were "almost there" for what felt like a quarter of my life. Don't worry, by June we'll be in the -insert whatever color you want here- tier. OH WILL WE MARGO?! Don't you dare get my hopes... Continue Reading →
I still don't know what "hedge funds" are or wtf a bitcoin is but I do know if you aren't buying wine from Ralph's/Kroger by the 6-pack, you're doing it wrong. I paid $66 for what should have been over $200 of wine and bubbles. Even the cashier went 'SHIT!' after he saw the total.... Continue Reading →
Happy post Scorpio conception day! At least everyone knows where they stand in their relationships now. And if you're trying to figure out an LA relationship - GOOD LUCK! - she yells through a megaphone with a very sarcastic thumbs up. I was at the grocery over the weekend feeling attacked by the Cupid inspired... Continue Reading →
Just sitting here writing to the hum of multiple helicopters in the air above my apartment looking for two men at large with guns...no big deal. Good to be back, LA. Fun times. I hope everyone survived the most boring Superbowl of all time. You know it's bad when the streaker is the most exciting... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 