Remember Me This Way

Well it's official. Jill's husband is our 46th President. I don't care if you're right-winged, left-winged, webbed-footed, black, blue, or blind - how Trump left the White House was childish and displayed a complete lack of character. It has been 152 years since a living President has not attended his successor's inauguration. 152 years. Have... Continue Reading →

Merry & Bright

'Hi' she says musically peeking from behind a corner with a mixture of mischief, apologies and trepidation. I know, I know - I ghosted you like a loser who snuck out the window in the middle of the night but is that a 2020 way to end the year or what? C'mon, you've let worse... Continue Reading →

SPANGLED FOR 500

I don't know what days are anymore.  I keep thinking today is Friday.  Everyday should be Friday moving forward.  At this point, why not?  Who cares?  So what?  Regardless of what day it is, America has spoken.  Jill's husband has been elected the 46th President of the United States.  I think?  I'm no political aficionado... Continue Reading →

Red, White & Who?

Well, well, well...the whole world is watching and from the looks of it, the fate of this country is in the hands of a bunch of strippers and chain smoking penny slotters. A well executed 2020 plot twist. As the mayor of Vegas, I did NOT see this coming. Not in a million bajillion eleventy-million... Continue Reading →

Around the Bend

Honestly, how is it Thursday again? The Bengals already lost again? I can't even remember what I did yesterday. Who's on First? What happened to Monday and where are my pants? You ever wonder if you're really just an avatar and someone out there is severely disappointed in your performance? Are we the topics of... Continue Reading →

Better Days

Ahhh, yes, the time of year when everyone rages about Columbus and tells you if you don't vote a certain way, you don't love them while everyone else threatens to leave the country - it's the most wonderful time of the year! Since I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to use my passport... Continue Reading →

Sweet Sorrows

While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →

The Culling

What a week it has been, especially in the United States of WTF is going on America. My.God. Stand back Schitt's Creek, because this was BY FAR the best comedy of the year. For those of you who watched the (dramatic pause with a big long sigh)..."debate"...I really hope you were drinking. For those of... Continue Reading →

Revival

It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →

Keep Going

As some of you might have noticed, I've been quiet lately.  It's uncharacteristic, that's for certain, but my voice is not the one that needed to be heard these past few weeks and I didn't want to deter from those that did.  It was not the time to post selfies unlike many of you were... Continue Reading →

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