Quandaries

Day 11 of Whole30 and what I wouldn't give to smash my face into a magnum bottle of malbec right now.  Or a merlot soaked gouda.  Or a cupcake.  Or a candy apple covered in fruity pebbles.  Is it candy or candied?  Who cares.  My mouth is legit watering.  The amount of times I've murmured... Continue Reading →

SHIFTing

2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin.  And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all.  This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →

QuaranQueen

I am Jennifer.  First born daughter of James.   Queen of Quarantine & the Blue Mountains.  The Puzzler.  Destructor of plants.  Dweller of the batcave.  Seamstress for the Band.  Keeper of the House of Whiteclaw.    ...man that makes me sound so cool when really I'm just a borderline alcoholic who lives in a dim-lit studio... Continue Reading →

Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Scary Movie Life

Well it's happened.  I am living my nightmare, starring in my own horror film.  Something I never thought possible.  (sigh) I didn't have a single sip of alcohol on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm a failure to myself, my family and all of Ireland.  I feel shame.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  This... Continue Reading →

The Price of Love

Remember the year Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt stole MLK day?  Oh my good lord, can everyone calm down?  They're not getting back together.  Ever.  Just like Obama isn't going to be president again.  The time has passed.  Move on.  Are we all forgetting that Brad cheated on Jen with Angelina I-wore-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck Jolie and then... Continue Reading →

New Decade, Still Me

Coming to you live from 2020!  It's been a minute and I will explain everything.  This would have been posted earlier today but someone was learning how to use a drill all by herself.  I now have a train station-esque clock set to a permanent 5 o'clock which is ironic as I'm on day 3... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

Bless You

I spent my Sunday night being a basic bitch with a little paint and sip action.  This painting started as a wedding gift...ten years ago.  No joke.  I ended up not going to said wedding and they have since divorced.  So it has been behind my couch since 2010 collecting dust...until now.  I'm not quite... Continue Reading →

Feeling Good as Hell

My suitcase is still sitting on my couch and I can't bring myself to unpack it because ALL I WANT TO DO IS LIVE IN A CASTLE AND DANCE.  And quite honestly, I really don't think that's asking too much.  They're all over Europe.  No one is living in them.  They're environmentally friendly.  They're built... Continue Reading →

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