Quarantime

I don't know what day it is.  I for sure don't know what time it is.  I haven't been outside of my apartment in days.  I don't know who's touched what or why anything or if I'll ever have sex again.  The love of my life is somewhere out there and now I might never... Continue Reading →

Scary Movie Life

Well it's happened.  I am living my nightmare, starring in my own horror film.  Something I never thought possible.  (sigh) I didn't have a single sip of alcohol on St. Patrick's Day.  I'm a failure to myself, my family and all of Ireland.  I feel shame.  I don't even know who I am anymore.  This... Continue Reading →

The Price of Love

Remember the year Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt stole MLK day?  Oh my good lord, can everyone calm down?  They're not getting back together.  Ever.  Just like Obama isn't going to be president again.  The time has passed.  Move on.  Are we all forgetting that Brad cheated on Jen with Angelina I-wore-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck Jolie and then... Continue Reading →

New Decade, Still Me

Coming to you live from 2020!  It's been a minute and I will explain everything.  This would have been posted earlier today but someone was learning how to use a drill all by herself.  I now have a train station-esque clock set to a permanent 5 o'clock which is ironic as I'm on day 3... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

Bless You

I spent my Sunday night being a basic bitch with a little paint and sip action.  This painting started as a wedding gift...ten years ago.  No joke.  I ended up not going to said wedding and they have since divorced.  So it has been behind my couch since 2010 collecting dust...until now.  I'm not quite... Continue Reading →

Feeling Good as Hell

My suitcase is still sitting on my couch and I can't bring myself to unpack it because ALL I WANT TO DO IS LIVE IN A CASTLE AND DANCE.  And quite honestly, I really don't think that's asking too much.  They're all over Europe.  No one is living in them.  They're environmentally friendly.  They're built... Continue Reading →

Going Postal

A puppy took a nosedive into my eye socket.  This was two days ago and my eye has yet to recover.  I look like a carebear pirate.  Life is fun.  Sometimes it's not.  I've been doing a lot of research this week due to the shootings.  Did you know that the term 'going postal' refers... Continue Reading →

Purple People Eater

The Purple People Eater is a song that was #1 on the Billboard pop charts for 6 days in 1958.  It's a song about a one-eyed one-horned, flying purple people eater who comes to Earth to join a rock band.  And that is my inspiration behind the purple hair.  I'm kidding.  Not about the purple hair... Continue Reading →

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