In America: A Lexicon

Well, I just covered up in a towel so a dog wouldn't have to look at me, so that's where I'm at with that. I think I watched too many 90s sitcoms which have given me the complex that they have thoughts and platforms. Basically I didn't want to be judged by an animal and... Continue Reading →

WELP!

Well, well well, look who showed up today. ME! Your west coast rambling undiagnosed A.D.D. blonde-haired (sort of) blue eyed nightmare. Hi. How are you? Been better? Same. I'd apologize for not being a constant in your life these past few months but I'm working on not saying sorry anymore so...deal with it...she says with... Continue Reading →

%&#@*!

Being sick and an adult is an ugly scene. I think I'm all grown up and with the snap of a finger I become the whiniest, neediest human this side of Oklahoma. Odd state choice on my part but I'm too tired to come up with something else. Yup, it's gonna be that kind of... Continue Reading →

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Ahoy there! Well it happened - I bought two shirts THAT AREN'T BLACK!!! Insert confetti and prizes here. I also bought the same shirt in three different colors, so there's that as well. I like what I like. I don't think I'm ever going to be remembered for my fashion choices. I contemplated buying biker... Continue Reading →

inward

I woke up this morning to a Taco Bell fiesta pack at my door that I didn't order. So that was an interesting way to start the day. In other random news, a woman in Ohio was arrested for beating someone with a 10 pound beef log. My friend posted a video of his neighbor... Continue Reading →

Domestic

Took a tiny siesta to go back to the midwest in the middle of cicada season. Love is love, am I right? I did yard work for the first time in my 37 years and I gotta tell you - domestic life is not for me. And this isn't because I'm dainty or that I... Continue Reading →

Complications

This week's headlines were flooded with the news that Prince Harry used drugs and alcohol to cope with his mother's death. Gasp! Are we that desperate for news from the Royals? Most people use drugs and alcohol to get through a Tuesday so I'm failing to to comprehend the shock and awe. I'd be more... Continue Reading →

unkindness

Hi, I'd like one ticket to Normal-land and a bottomless strawberry margarita...and a cupcake. Everyone through with their panic purchasing? You all set with your Burger King cup of gasoline, Gary? Did you store it on top of your TP I'm sure you still have stockpiled in the closet from a year ago that you... Continue Reading →

Looking Out

Holy shit. Everyone stop what you're doing. Gwyneth Paltrow ate bread ladies and gentlemen. That was her lockdown low. If that's her idea of "going off the rails", I imagine she would consider my life a tragedy on an Oedipus scale. Is she for real? There was a day I ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner... Continue Reading →

goodness

I have been plagued by crickets. They're after my soul. I didn't sleep for almost a week because of a cricket outside of my door. Apparently it's mating season. Congratulations, but you can't do that here. At my breaking point, I grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and went out into the courtyard like... Continue Reading →

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