I don't know what days are anymore. I keep thinking today is Friday. Everyday should be Friday moving forward. At this point, why not? Who cares? So what? Regardless of what day it is, America has spoken. Jill's husband has been elected the 46th President of the United States. I think? I'm no political aficionado... Continue Reading →
Around the Bend
Honestly, how is it Thursday again? The Bengals already lost again? I can't even remember what I did yesterday. Who's on First? What happened to Monday and where are my pants? You ever wonder if you're really just an avatar and someone out there is severely disappointed in your performance? Are we the topics of... Continue Reading →
Better Days
Ahhh, yes, the time of year when everyone rages about Columbus and tells you if you don't vote a certain way, you don't love them while everyone else threatens to leave the country - it's the most wonderful time of the year! Since I'm not sure when I'll ever be able to use my passport... Continue Reading →
Sweet Sorrows
While all of you are prancing around pumpkin patches and indulging in apple cider being basic WITHOUT ME (rude), I'm dealing with some real shit over here. My beloved Lean Pockets have been discontinued and now life has no meaning. And for those of you thinking, 'you shouldn't be eating that crap anyway' - YOU... Continue Reading →
The Culling
What a week it has been, especially in the United States of WTF is going on America. My.God. Stand back Schitt's Creek, because this was BY FAR the best comedy of the year. For those of you who watched the (dramatic pause with a big long sigh)..."debate"...I really hope you were drinking. For those of... Continue Reading →
The Best We Can
Ever feel like you're walking through life blindfolded in the dark searching for a pinata without a bat? Asking for a friend. The universe has always had my back but I feel like she's testing my limits these days. Keeping my eyes peeled for that silver lining like a hawk. I know I'm not alone. ... Continue Reading →
Hot Body
I swear J-Lo is taunting me. Take your 50 year old Goddess body and get out of my face. You and She-Wolf are why men have insane expectations. I didn't look like that when I was in my twenties. I've never looked like that. So thank you to Shakira and J-Lo for making me feel... Continue Reading →
Going Postal
A puppy took a nosedive into my eye socket. This was two days ago and my eye has yet to recover. I look like a carebear pirate. Life is fun. Sometimes it's not. I've been doing a lot of research this week due to the shootings. Did you know that the term 'going postal' refers... Continue Reading →
Rise Up
I don't know about you, but I need a reason to smile. With everything going on in the world around me, I'm not sure whether to put together a survival kit and start a revolution or to follow my heart to Australia and make it official. What on earth is happening? Where am I? It's... Continue Reading →
#imwithvodka
Apparently there's an election this year. It's times like these a sarcastic font would really come in handy. It has become increasingly difficult to avoid the topic of politics as of late. Trump and Hillary have flooded the nation and taken conversation hostage. Good luck trying to talk to your friends about anything because it... Continue Reading →