Trickery

I started my most recent trip around the sun by losing an entire chunk of eyelashes.  I had no idea how important eyelashes were until half of mine were missing.  It's not a good look.  Maybe now I'll finally learn to wash my face before I go to bed.  (Probably not.)  Fun fact:  they grow... Continue Reading →

Ms. DOUBTfire

I discovered this week that my trust issues reach as far as the sea.  Literally.  If you've never seen a woman pee in utter fear, go boating in the ocean with me.  I honestly had no idea how afraid of the ocean I was until that moment.  I was certain a shark was going to... Continue Reading →

The Curve

I have officially fallen into the dark hole that is Project Runway.  I have never been one particularly inclined towards fashion.  My go-to shoe is a flip flop and I wear black jeans 360 days of the year.  The other 5, you're lucky if I put pants on at all.  I'm not known for being... Continue Reading →

Going Postal

A puppy took a nosedive into my eye socket.  This was two days ago and my eye has yet to recover.  I look like a carebear pirate.  Life is fun.  Sometimes it's not.  I've been doing a lot of research this week due to the shootings.  Did you know that the term 'going postal' refers... Continue Reading →

Purple People Eater

The Purple People Eater is a song that was #1 on the Billboard pop charts for 6 days in 1958.  It's a song about a one-eyed one-horned, flying purple people eater who comes to Earth to join a rock band.  And that is my inspiration behind the purple hair.  I'm kidding.  Not about the purple hair... Continue Reading →

Needy Heart

My neighbors have developed a new habit which is hanging pictures after midnight.  FUN!  What will they come up with next?  Time will tell.  I recently learned Beyoncé gets 5 million dollars a pregnancy.  It was a part of her prenup so she gets compensated for what she would have made in that time had... Continue Reading →

It’s All Coming Back to Me

Well, it happened.  I'm 36.  The floating beer pong was a giant success as was the crate of coconuts that were delivered to my door.  Dare I say, the world could use more coconuts.  Truly.  Even the moon, full in all its glory, showed up for me.  (Selenophile (n.) A person who loves the moon) ... Continue Reading →

My Big Fat Greek Life

I apologize.  I've been unfaithful.  I fully submerged myself in the 4th of July and my family reunion, making the executive decision that those things were way more important than my three cents on living alone and dating.  I have it on pretty good authority no one lost any sleep over it, so I pray... Continue Reading →

chill out

Back on the Whole30 (minus the drinking for obvious genetic reasons) which is fun if you like the feeling of never being satisfied.  But the real highlight of my week was when I couldn't remember if I'd taken my biotin pill or not and then asked myself if I should purchase a pill box.  Good... Continue Reading →

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