Microscopic

Each of us is bestowed with a gift.  We all have areas in our lives we excel in more than others.  If I had a superpower it would be observation.  As far as X-Men go, consider myself and Marvel gravely disappointed.  I notice things – whoopity doo, right?  Not exactly a box office hit.  It sounds mundane but I like to think of it on a Sherlock level.  I have a photographic memory of sorts.  I’m very attune with human behaviors, patterns and tells.  If I only had a poker face, I could write this blog from the comfort of my very own island cabana.  My sixth sense, my intuition, my blessing and my curse.  Blame it on Nancy Drew.  She was my very first book crush.  That mystery solving, Hardy Boy loving detective inspired me in ways I’m only realizing now.  I love mysteries and puzzles, discovering truths and solving problems.  I’m a sucker for a challenge and I like to win.  I’m tenacious like that.  Also, I’m just a nosy bitch.

I’m nosy.  It’s true.  In an ‘I just like to know what’s going on and don’t want to feel left out and you better not be eating pizza without me’ kind of way.  I have FOMO which creates a huge conflict of interest when I am trying to teach myself to say NO more often.  I want to know everything all the time.  I want to know what you’re thinking, why you’re thinking it and what you’re going to think about next.  My parents must have had so much fun during my ‘Why?’ phase.  Sorry, ma.  Fun fact:  I thought about going to a forensic school for awhile.  I wanted to be a crime scene investigator.  I was also going through a serious binge phase of CSI but that’s not the point.  And if you think that’s crazy, I also started an application for the CIA.  -Not even joking your ass right now.  Could you even imagine?

I’m hyper aware.  All of the time.  I feel so much.  I feel everything.  I notice slight changes in the weirdest of things.  I’m just short of Kathy Bates yelling about penguins facing north.  For as much as I talk, it’s remarkable really.  We all notice different things.  We all see the world differently.  This guy I dated for a hotdog of a second told me that the first thing he noticed about a girl was her fingernails.  He said it gave him insight into how a woman feels about herself.  So now whenever my nails are chipped or I spend an evening peeling off my gels like the 3rd class citizen I am, I feel like a crazy person whose life is falling apart.

It’s very intriguing to understand how other people see the world.  We all possess a different perspective that has been molded throughout our lives.  Personally, I notice people’s eyes first.  You can see so much more about a person through their eyes.  It’s a little sneak peak into the magic that is their soul.  The thing is, no one really makes eye contact anymore.  It’s become this very Goldilocks thing.  Too much, too little, just right- what do you want from me?  Stop staring at me swan!  We are all so busy doing multiple things, giving anyone our undivided attention is hard to come by these days.  Call me old fashioned I suppose.  I just feel like it’s hard to understand anyone if you aren’t actually seeing them.  But we all seek our own destinies in our own ways.

There are three different kinds of people in this world.  The people who move their phone when water is being poured near it, the people who don’t and the people who don’t keep their phone on the table at all.  Keep in mind, however, we all have a phone.  What I’ve noticed the most is how similar we all are.  At the end of the day when the paint is gone, the music has died and all the glamour has faded, we have more in common than society will ever let us believe….more than they ever want us to know.  When it’s just you looking in the mirror, there’s an honesty in that moment.  I always wonder who else is doing the exact same thing as I am.  Staring into the eyes of the person you’ve become.  Does that person make you happy?

The world divides and classifies us constantly.  If we could take a step back and focus on what holds us together instead of what separates us, we’d be stronger for it.  We would be unstoppable.  I try to see people for who they are and not what I’ve been told they are.  I do my best to walk a mile in their shoes as the saying goes.  I try not to take other people’s words for anything.  I want to see the world the way I perceive it, the way I was meant to.  So I observe.  Be aware of what lens you are looking through.  If we only knew how much we had in common, we would be the kings and queens of all seven kingdoms.

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