Songs take me back to particular moments or windows in my life. Music is transcendent like that. Growing up, after morning swim practice in the summertime, we would go to my friend’s house and listen to Jagged Little Pill on repeat the rest of the day. That album was very much the soundtrack of my juvenile life. I finally had the honor of seeing Alanis Morrissette perform live this past weekend and I gotta tell you…she did not disappoint. I’m talking all the feels folks. From the harmonica to when she changed up the lyrics ‘It’s like meeting the man of my dreams / And then meeting his beautiful…husband‘ – it was pure magic. It took me back to all those years ago filled with summers at the pool, hang outs in the basement, lifeguarding, Friday night football games, first kisses and those long calls on phones with cords. Those carefree lazy days when my biggest responsibility was not losing my goggles. Man, I miss them.
I feel like we spend most of our lives yearning for the things we don’t have. I also feel like I’ve discussed this a lot in recent weeks so my apologies if I’m beating a dead horse – which is a REALLY awful expression by the way. But seriously, why do we find it so hard to be content with where we are? Why can’t right now be enough? We spend our entire lives wanting to grow up and be independent and not live by anyone else’s rules. Then we spend all of our adulthood searching for moments free of responsibility, bills and work. It’s the catch 22 we were warned about our entire lives and never saw coming. What I wouldn’t give to be watching SNL with my parents on a Saturday night again, to have dinner on the table ready for me every night, to have a fridge stocked with all of my favorites that I didn’t pay for or to have all of my friends just a short walk/drive away because those were the only people I knew at the time. Macklemore’s song with Kesha Good Old Days touches on this:
I wish somebody would have told me babe
Some day, these will be the good old days
All the love you won’t forget
And all these reckless nights you won’t regret
Someday soon, your whole life’s gonna change
You’ll miss the magic of these good old days
It really is crazy the things you remember. And what’s more crazy is that you didn’t realize at the time you were making memories, you just knew you were having fun. I have certainly had a lot of that in this lifetime. There are certain times in my life I don’t think about often but when I hear a song or see a picture, the memory floods back in vivid colors. The mind is funny. I’m not really sure how I remember what these days. I still have to check my straightener a minimum of 5x before I leave the house. I may not remember what you just told me five minutes ago but you better believe I’ll still know every single word to a song I haven’t listened to since the early 90s. Brain stuff, I can’t explain it. What I do know is that you should savor every moment of your youth. It only happens once. You’re not going to want to hear this because you want an apartment and that cool couch you saw online and roommates and your own mailing address and a place to have friends over at all hours of the night but one day you will understand. You will also understand why Target is a financial undertow that cannot be escaped. #fact Every.single.time.
Total tangent, but I’ve got to be honest. It’s been very hard focusing on this today because I have recently discovered that there is an apartment FULL of puppies next door. I confirmed this last evening when I got home from work and saw the tops of their tiny heads and practically melted to the ground in pure joy. I am allergic and I don’t even care. Show me the puppies. I now have to figure out how I’m going to get in there and hold every single one without coming off as the crazy neighbor. We have spoken maybe twelve sentences to each other in 8 years. All I know is he gets a lot of packages, like A LOT, calls me Jennifer so I always feel like I’m in trouble whenever he does talk to me and watches the news 24/7. I GOTTA GET IN THERE!! #ProjectPuppy.
So try your best to be where you are and enjoy it because you can’t replicate it, not perfectly. Those firsts, you never get them back. Yes, life is hard and occasionally tragic, but it’s also pretty insane beautiful. I miss the days of innocence and being naive and not worrying about my bones falling apart on me. I miss the nights spent talking about nothing and the days spent with no other agenda but a suntan. I miss the days of no debt and the body I never appreciated as much as I should have. Isn’t it ironic? It certainly is, Alanis. Cause you will look back and miss the magic of the good old days. It’s inevitable. Take it from me – I’m an old lady. Like Tyrion, I drink and I know things.
Final note: my brother has informed me that my blogs are getting a little too deep, borderline “preachy” lately, so I’ll do better next week and my apologies to all of you who feel the same way. I’ll lighten up a little – sorry for being an emotional Cancer!! It’s puppy time. Bye.