525,600 minutes

I’m a daydreamer and a night thinker.  I always have been.  I sleep with one eye open, which might be because I have FOMO or maybe because I have PTSD from when my apartment was broken into while I was sleeping but most definitely because my OFF switch has been disabled.   I may look dormant, but my mind runs rampant with words upon words just waiting to be brought to life.  About 50,000-70,000 thoughts cross our minds every single day which is roughly 35 to 48 thoughts per minute.  Let that sink in.  Makes you realize how much is really left unsaid doesn’t it?  I’m not a genius or anything but something tells me that my thought process runs above average and I gotta tell you, it’s exhausting.  Few have dared to make sense of the firework finale that is my brain.  It’s a bit of labyrinth, Goblin King and all.  So I thought today I would embrace that crazy and share my thoughts with you as they pop up.  May God be with you.  Maybe wear a helmet.

I am supposed to be running errands and packing and reading a hundred page script.  I am doing none of those things.  Instead I’m watching the World Cup (duh), which has only given me more fuel for my procrastination tactics, which were already state of the art. I would imagine there has been an overwhelming amount of people calling off of work this week.  If you aren’t into soccer, you probably aren’t into me.  I was carried off of the field my very first game.  Started slide-tackling at age 4.  If someone would have told me offsides meant cherry picking, it probably wouldn’t have taken me four years to figure it out.  I once got a concussion on the field and while all of the other parents were freaking out, my mom just sat unfazed and said “She’ll be fine”.  This is what happens to a mother with five children who earned a frequent flyer pass to the ER.  In my opinion, PKs and shootouts are the absolute worst way to end a game. The pressure on the goalie is immeasurable.  It’s a team sport, just keep playing.  Also this is hilarious and wildly accurate.

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I just want everybody to stop arguing about things they can’t change.  People are still upset Hillary wasn’t elected and while I get that, it’s as useful as me still being upset the Democrats went with her over Bernie in the first place.  And if you’re a Hillary fan and you just rolled your eyes reading that, you’re missing the point entirely.  Bottom line is, it still solves nothing.  In fact, it’s an entire waste of emotion and conversation because the election happened years ago.  And for those of you who say he’s not your president, he kinda is.  When your great great grandchild asks who the president was in 2018, there is only one answer.  It doesn’t have to be a name you’re proud of or even like but it is the truth.  People can’t believe what’s happening in America right now but Roosevelt instated Japanese-American concentration camps in Northern California during WWII.  It never gets talked about and he went down as one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history.  Go figure.

I think if the world was a reality show, America would be the really attractive manipulative one who is playing like three different people but has a smile that’ll knock anyone off their feet and is just so damn charming.  I also find it interesting that the same people who want to keep all of their guns in unamended glory are the same people mad about kneeling on a football field.  Kneeling is only reverent when we decide it is?  You know why they are kneeling and it’s not an anti-military remark.  In fact, the idea to kneel on the field was started by a Marine.  Fun fact no one ever talks about.   Also, the second amendment’s original intention was to ensure protection for yourself from the government and oppression if need be.  So you love your country, but you don’t trust em.  Noted.   It’s like we decide what issue takes precedent when it’s more convenient for us.   So these dudes in wigs, most likely high on opium, wrote some stuff over 200 years ago, when women were barely considered people and African American’s were still considered property, and we think they knew exactly how all of that would turn out?  I say things all the time I don’t mean an hour later, just sayin’.

I also would like the man of my dreams to please come out of hiding now.  Are you in the witness protection program?  Did you get lost during a safari as a child?  Were you raised by anacondas?  Are you still alive?  Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee.  Are you a trained assassin in hiding because the government is trying to find you?  Show yourself!  Cause I can’t go on another date and get yelled at for being a Bengals fan again as if I have any say in what Burfict does.  It’s like when America does stupid stuff – I just live here okay?  In conclusion, I have decided that when I do get into a serious relationship I’m going to be the one to propose so that HE has to wear a ring for a year.  How ’bout dat?

And this is pretty much how my brain works.  It’s a high speed chase that could probably use some direction and most definitely some supervision.   I just hope that one day funerals and divorces won’t be looked at as cash crops.  That we will start making choices FOR the children instead of acting like them.  That the minimum wage of ONE job will be sufficient to live off of and that maybe people will start being kinder to one another.  I hope my brother has found this lighter and ‘less ranty’.  Love to all of you and yours.  Hope you had a successful 4th – I was asleep by 8pm…and by asleep I mean I passed out mid-BBQ sandwich on the bleachers to the voice of Bruce Springsteen.  ‘Merica.

 

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