One Singular Sensation

I did this crazy thing the other day and found myself in the midst of a phone call because I made the extremely uncharacteristic choice of answering. Albeit, my phone deciding to ring at all was probably the most remarkable trait of the situation. My friend said, "I can't even write 2020 without wanting to... Continue Reading →

Quandaries

Day 11 of Whole30 and what I wouldn't give to smash my face into a magnum bottle of malbec right now.  Or a merlot soaked gouda.  Or a cupcake.  Or a candy apple covered in fruity pebbles.  Is it candy or candied?  Who cares.  My mouth is legit watering.  The amount of times I've murmured... Continue Reading →

SHIFTing

2020 has to be, at the very least, sponsored by people who'll put a box of Cheez-Its back in the pantry with a single cracker left inside and co-written by George R.R. Martin.  And if the ending is anything like the GOT series finale, lord help us all.  This past week, I was full on... Continue Reading →

Pursuit of Happyness

Do you feel like life is passing you by?  Do you find that there's not enough time in a day?  Are you having difficulty making space for yourself?  Try doing a plank for two minutes.  TIME HAS NEVER MOVED SO SLOW.  Hands down, the worst 120 seconds of your life.  Everything is about perspective, is... Continue Reading →

Don’t Mind Me

Just when I thought I'd lost all sex appeal, I got cat-called by a parrot this week.  Yes, you read that sentence correctly.  SHE'S STILL GOT IT!  Ugh.  So as far as where I'm at in life, I feel like I'm really soaring this week.  Add that with the fact I'll be over here dying... Continue Reading →

Live to Love

Watching Chocolat while on Whole30 was probably a bad idea.  Also, what even was that movie and how was it nominated for an Oscar?  What I wouldn't do for a Caramello right now.  Mmmmm...nom nom nom.  I have been informed by a friend that I talk in my sleep and that even then, I'm sarcastic. ... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

Bless You

I spent my Sunday night being a basic bitch with a little paint and sip action.  This painting started as a wedding gift...ten years ago.  No joke.  I ended up not going to said wedding and they have since divorced.  So it has been behind my couch since 2010 collecting dust...until now.  I'm not quite... Continue Reading →

Nightmare on Detroit Street

It happened.  My worst nightmare.  That thing of urban legends - that irrational fear I have had ever since I was a child.  My hand was in the garbage disposal - oh you know where this is going - and it magically turned on.  It was off.  I made sure of it...three times...because I'm a... Continue Reading →

Version of Me

I would have been Sporty Spice.  That is said with the assumption that Drunk Spice wasn't an option.  I love sports.  I do.  I was raised on it.  It's one of the main ingredients to what binds my family together.  And now it's that time of year when I wear orange and black once a... Continue Reading →

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