My thoughts on Life, Writing, Hollywood, Children, My Neighbors, Love & Growing Up
Hi, I'd like one ticket to Normal-land and a bottomless strawberry margarita...and a cupcake. Everyone through with their panic purchasing? You all set with your Burger King cup of gasoline, Gary? Did you store it on top of your TP I'm sure you still have stockpiled in the closet from a year ago that you... Continue Reading →
Holy shit. Everyone stop what you're doing. Gwyneth Paltrow ate bread ladies and gentlemen. That was her lockdown low. If that's her idea of "going off the rails", I imagine she would consider my life a tragedy on an Oedipus scale. Is she for real? There was a day I ordered breakfast, lunch and dinner... Continue Reading →
I have been plagued by crickets. They're after my soul. I didn't sleep for almost a week because of a cricket outside of my door. Apparently it's mating season. Congratulations, but you can't do that here. At my breaking point, I grabbed a wooden spoon from the kitchen and went out into the courtyard like... Continue Reading →
You know how you see things on TV or in the movies and you're like - how stupid are you? Flashback to this weekend when I text someone, 'Houston, there no tp in here SOS!' to which the response was, 'You're in Houston?' And this is when I realized I had text the wrong person.... Continue Reading →
My biggest love affair to date has been with the outdoors. Still managing to take my breath away all these years later. This picture makes me so happy. I saw it at a nature preserve in North Carolina and I stood staring at it for ages. It's beautiful...the way the light finds its way through... Continue Reading →
A year into this thing and it's starting to feel like that one roadtrip to Florida when we were "almost there" for what felt like a quarter of my life. Don't worry, by June we'll be in the -insert whatever color you want here- tier. OH WILL WE MARGO?! Don't you dare get my hopes... Continue Reading →
Well it's official. Jill's husband is our 46th President. I don't care if you're right-winged, left-winged, webbed-footed, black, blue, or blind - how Trump left the White House was childish and displayed a complete lack of character. It has been 152 years since a living President has not attended his successor's inauguration. 152 years. Have... Continue Reading →
I don't know what days are anymore. I keep thinking today is Friday. Everyday should be Friday moving forward. At this point, why not? Who cares? So what? Regardless of what day it is, America has spoken. Jill's husband has been elected the 46th President of the United States. I think? I'm no political aficionado... Continue Reading →
It's Sundurday Octember eleventy-five in the year of the 12th circle of hell. Please direct me to where I can submit my resignation. I've been on this ride for almost 10 months - I have vertigo, dejavu, symptoms of mild depression, characteristics of a sloth and what some might call an (insert air quotes here)... Continue Reading →
Remember that one time I signed up for a HIIT class, totally forgot, was reminded a minute before it started and was for sure still in bed eating a sandwich? Yes, you read that correctly and no, I don't need your judgement. I only threw up in my mouth twice. Then I laid on the... Continue Reading →
**RETROSPECTACULAR** 