Needy Heart

My neighbors have developed a new habit which is hanging pictures after midnight.  FUN!  What will they come up with next?  Time will tell.  I recently learned Beyoncé gets 5 million dollars a pregnancy.  It was a part of her prenup so she gets compensated for what she would have made in that time had... Continue Reading →

It’s All Coming Back to Me

Well, it happened.  I'm 36.  The floating beer pong was a giant success as was the crate of coconuts that were delivered to my door.  Dare I say, the world could use more coconuts.  Truly.  Even the moon, full in all its glory, showed up for me.  (Selenophile (n.) A person who loves the moon) ... Continue Reading →

Beauty, Grace, United States

If you weren't at my house last night, be very sad you missed the undiscovered talent showcase my neighbors hosted in their apartment with a FULL band.  Drum set and all.  I can't wait to see what they come up with next.  I would also like to point out that not all of my neighbors... Continue Reading →

Happy Endings

***GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS AHEAD*** ...you've been warned and also I fart in your general direction.   I've got two more weeks to talk about Game of Thrones and so I shall.  My only hope at this point will be that there's a Fanta on the table this week.  What is even happening anymore?  I... Continue Reading →

No Fair

It has been A WEEK.  I'm writing this on day 3 of a fever so I'm hopped up on narcotics and pretty much delirious so proceed with caution.  I was thinking about Game of Thrones as the series comes to an end and a lot of this could have been avoided if any of them... Continue Reading →

Daydreams

I was visiting home a few years ago and if you're in the entertainment industry, you know how it can get.  "What can I see you in?"  "Have you tried ___insert any obvious idea here__?"  "You should get a hold of my neighbor's son's ex-girlfriend's cousin - he's an actor out there" "You know Lisa... Continue Reading →

Earn Her

Winter is finally here.  I've been wearing 'winter is coming' socks since Christmas.  If you don't watch Game of Thrones, a lot of what I'm about to say probably won't make sense and I don't feel bad about it because you've literally had almost two years to catch up.  I love how people were trying... Continue Reading →

imPOSSIBLE

Well I've done it again people.  The death toll in my apartment is on the rise.  This time it was an aloe plant which means a few things.  A - I'm a certified idiot capable of the impossible and B - I have no business owning a plant.  So I did what any other serial... Continue Reading →

Never Enough

This week has been interesting to say the least.  I've been a real Inspector Gadget over here.  I don't always lose my phone, but when I do it's on silent.  Ugh.  Idiot Sandwich.  What else?  Hmmmm, I spent an obscene amount of time looking for that f*$#ing AppleTV remote - like honest to God, I'm... Continue Reading →

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