Absurdist

Question of the week:  What is sleep? Tell me all about it so I can live vicariously through you.  My brain is an energizer bunny.  I'll lie there for hours, trying to will myself to sleep, and she just won't quit.  Right when I think I'm finally dozing off, I begin wondering things like -... Continue Reading →

TIN YEARS

Ladies, gentleman, toddlers and peasants - it is with great pleasure I share with you that today is my 10 year anniversary in LA.  One long and tumultuous decade ago I consumed way too much vodka, said goodbye to a city I love very much and boarded my one-way flight to LAX.  No place to live. ... Continue Reading →

Champagne Supernova

As I have a tendency to do from time to time, I went down a rabbit hole the other day.  I am Alice in Wonderland's third cousin, once removed, for sure.  This time it was watching movie trailers on youtube.  I mean, I really went for it.  All the way down I went.  I texted... Continue Reading →

Ms. DOUBTfire

I discovered this week that my trust issues reach as far as the sea.  Literally.  If you've never seen a woman pee in utter fear, go boating in the ocean with me.  I honestly had no idea how afraid of the ocean I was until that moment.  I was certain a shark was going to... Continue Reading →

The Curve

I have officially fallen into the dark hole that is Project Runway.  I have never been one particularly inclined towards fashion.  My go-to shoe is a flip flop and I wear black jeans 360 days of the year.  The other 5, you're lucky if I put pants on at all.  I'm not known for being... Continue Reading →

Needy Heart

My neighbors have developed a new habit which is hanging pictures after midnight.  FUN!  What will they come up with next?  Time will tell.  I recently learned Beyoncé gets 5 million dollars a pregnancy.  It was a part of her prenup so she gets compensated for what she would have made in that time had... Continue Reading →

Winter is Gone

This week there are a few things that have been brought to my attention.  Eggrolls have really gone to shit and Game of Thrones was a complete and total let down.  Game of Thrones was the guy I thought I was going to marry until he stabbed me and left me for dead.  Everything he... Continue Reading →

Happy Endings

***GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS AHEAD*** ...you've been warned and also I fart in your general direction.   I've got two more weeks to talk about Game of Thrones and so I shall.  My only hope at this point will be that there's a Fanta on the table this week.  What is even happening anymore?  I... Continue Reading →

No Fair

It has been A WEEK.  I'm writing this on day 3 of a fever so I'm hopped up on narcotics and pretty much delirious so proceed with caution.  I was thinking about Game of Thrones as the series comes to an end and a lot of this could have been avoided if any of them... Continue Reading →

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