MegaMillions

I found myself on the brink of buying a rooster utensil holder at 1 in the morning the other night, so you could say I'm DOING FINE. Luckily I had a friend tell me I should sleep on it - THANK YOU FRIEND. Don't worry, I had 18 other tabs of options open. Eezy breezy... Continue Reading →

The Meltdown

Well this week has been FULL OF SURPRISES!!! I received word that I was hired for my dream job and will now be PAID money to watch holiday films and write reviews! I met a man while I was out for a run and he's amazing! No psycho characteristics detected yet thus far. He's also... Continue Reading →

Detained

A friend sent me a video of Christina Aguilera singing the part in Genie in a Bottle 'I feel like I've been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights' on repeat and I've never felt more heard. And if this isn't the cherry on top of the WHO MADE THIS AND WHAT THE... Continue Reading →

Unimaginable

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and yet this year continues to surprise me on a catastrophic level. Today I worked out with a handle of vodka and a magnum bottle of wine. When in Rome, right? Or Indy. Whatever. I tried watching Jeopardy! while working out and just some advice, don't. Not... Continue Reading →

Thanks

I don't know why I'm surprised every year I have to post on Thanksgiving. And yet, here I am, mystified beyond belief. While I have a very twisty relationship with the historical origins of this day, I can step back enough to appreciate the sentiment of being thankful. Personally, I have had some of my... Continue Reading →

NonEssential

How are all those languages coming along?  Remember when a bat ruined my chances at ever seeing Hamilton or having sex?  Oh man...let's see...let me look at these tallies I've been making on my wall with lipstick I'll never wear again...it's day eleventy-five of this quarantine and so far my kitchen has flooded, I've murdered... Continue Reading →

New Decade, Still Me

Coming to you live from 2020!  It's been a minute and I will explain everything.  This would have been posted earlier today but someone was learning how to use a drill all by herself.  I now have a train station-esque clock set to a permanent 5 o'clock which is ironic as I'm on day 3... Continue Reading →

black hoodie magic

My sister asked me what I wanted for Christmas and the only thing I could come up with was a black hoodie.  Love me a black hoodie.  I wear mine at least 6 days a week.  It's the one consistent thing I do.  Grown-up Christmas lists are hard.  It really is true - you get... Continue Reading →

Make it Count

I am currently watching The Mistletoe Secret on the Hallmark channel and, truth be told, it should have stayed a secret.  Yikes.  And if I say that, that it must be really bad because I love romance more than you love your boyfriend.  I am a hooker for corny rom-coms but I vote NO to... Continue Reading →

TIN YEARS

Ladies, gentleman, toddlers and peasants - it is with great pleasure I share with you that today is my 10 year anniversary in LA.  One long and tumultuous decade ago I consumed way too much vodka, said goodbye to a city I love very much and boarded my one-way flight to LAX.  No place to live. ... Continue Reading →

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