inward

I woke up this morning to a Taco Bell fiesta pack at my door that I didn't order. So that was an interesting way to start the day. In other random news, a woman in Ohio was arrested for beating someone with a 10 pound beef log. My friend posted a video of his neighbor... Continue Reading →

I’ll Scream

If you haven't posted a picture with #vaccinated in the caption, are you even real? Meanwhile, I've learned that I've been putting trash bags on wrong my entire life. Apparently you're supposed to wrap the top around the bin and then push down which means mine have been inside out since forever. Google it. But... Continue Reading →

this way to CrazyTown

I feel like I'm on that ride at state fairs where you just spin and spin and spin. You know the one no person in their right mind would voluntarily get on because it looks like it could fall apart at any moment and also, why? I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety for... Continue Reading →

Execution of Excellence

I'm baAAAaaaAAAAck!  As three of you might have noticed, I went off the grid in a major way.  I needed a recess, a pause from the monotony, an escape from the claustrophobia that is quarantine.  We all know I'm a girl who survives off adventure and it got way too groundhog day around here, so... Continue Reading →

The Price of Love

Remember the year Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt stole MLK day?  Oh my good lord, can everyone calm down?  They're not getting back together.  Ever.  Just like Obama isn't going to be president again.  The time has passed.  Move on.  Are we all forgetting that Brad cheated on Jen with Angelina I-wore-Billy-Bob-Thornton's-blood-in-a-vial-around-my-neck Jolie and then... Continue Reading →

Version of Me

I would have been Sporty Spice.  That is said with the assumption that Drunk Spice wasn't an option.  I love sports.  I do.  I was raised on it.  It's one of the main ingredients to what binds my family together.  And now it's that time of year when I wear orange and black once a... Continue Reading →

Champagne Supernova

As I have a tendency to do from time to time, I went down a rabbit hole the other day.  I am Alice in Wonderland's third cousin, once removed, for sure.  This time it was watching movie trailers on youtube.  I mean, I really went for it.  All the way down I went.  I texted... Continue Reading →

Soaring

It's important to know that life isn't always on your side.  There's some definite roughage.  We've all been there.  It's just how it all works - ebbs and flows.  I'm not a genius or anything by any scholastic standard but I think if we had each other's backs more often, it might - hell, I... Continue Reading →

Stuck in this Place

I can only hope that one day when I win an Oscar, whatever comes out of my mouth is poignant, bleep-less and spoken without a piece of paper that looks like a CVS receipt.  God, who doesn't want a little more Olivia Coleman in their life?  The first hostless Oscars in 30 years - which... Continue Reading →

Reach For It

It's hard to tell yourself to reach for the stars when you throw out your back reaching for the paprika.  This is a true story folks.  I simply reached for a spice and everything changed.  I swear I'm an avatar and someone out there is getting a giant kick out of all of this.  If... Continue Reading →

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