No Fair

It has been A WEEK.  I’m writing this on day 3 of a fever so I’m hopped up on narcotics and pretty much delirious so proceed with caution.  I was thinking about Game of Thrones as the series comes to an end and a lot of this could have been avoided if any of them had been taught how to share…or to have any shred of kindness…or that incest is bad.  I think my favorite quote of the week was when someone said, “Ten years later and it all comes down to a pregnant lady and a pirate?”  Whether you watch GOT or not, what you need to know is it changed the way people watched TV.  No one is safe and nothing is fair.  Cause ladies and gentlemen, if there’s anything realistic about that show it’s that life is not fair.  I think one of the first lessons my dad ever taught me was that life’s not fair.  It just isn’t.  Even playing sports, when we complained about bad calls, he would say, “You can’t blame the refs if you put yourself in a position to let them decide the game.”  Wise man he sure was.  Man, I miss that guy.

Let’s start on this topic by discussing the greatest 2 minutes in sports on Saturday which turned into the biggest bunch of 22 minute bullshit I’ve ever witnessed by grown men…tiny grown men.  It wasn’t even a photo finish, for starters.  The track was sloppy.  If anyone can explain to me how you can stare at the butt of a horse and then complain about an inconsequential scuffle, that was proven to NOT IMPACT YOUR RACE AT ALL, and then be declared the race of roses winner, may god have mercy on your dark and undeserving soul.  That lil’ nudge is why a horse beat you by over a length and a half!?   Eat my whole butt.  Maximum Security won with torn up hind legs which happened DURING the race, which honestly is probably the reason he got spooked in the first place.  Did he stop and cry?  No.  Because he’s a champion.  And those poor horses.  That Country Crockpot whatever his name is jockey was like the overbearing parent who makes a fuss about nonsense that no one else cares about and the kid is like ‘DAD! Stop it you’re embarrassing me in front of all of my friends!”  Even Bob Baffert, the king of the derby himself, said, “Sometimes you gotta take your ass kickings with dignity.”  Slow clap for Bob.  So, thank you KY Derby for perpetuating a ‘whiners win’ culture.  Maybe next year ALL the horses can win?  How about that?

This isn’t something I discuss at liberty very often but when I was in college, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Behcet’s.  I say that like it happened one day, but really it was probably over a year of misdiagnosis, testing, ruling everything else out and several doctors staring at me like I was some kind of circus freak.  This is me.  If you’ve never been in a doctor’s office when they open the door and yell, “Hey, come here, you’ve gotta see this!” consider yourself the luckiest.  It was scary and weird and I’d be lying if I didn’t say ‘Why me?’ every once in awhile.  In the simplest of terms, it sucks.  When I get sick, my body’s immune system goes into overdrive and attacks everything – good and bad.  It’s not contagious and it’s not AIDS, which are the two assumptions most people make when you tell them you have an autoimmune disease and that’s usually right after they back up a few steps.  There are over 80 types of autoimmune diseases and what’s super fun about mine is it’s so rare I’m usually the one having to explain it to the doctors.  As with most autoimmune disorders, there is no diagnostic test to positively confirm and there is no cure.  I can only treat the symptoms as they come along.  It can be very painful.  High fevers, ulcers, joint pains, eye inflammation – I won’t go into detail but you get the idea.  Not a great hand to be dealt, but that’s my life.

Things happen that you can’t explain.  There’s no rhyme or reason to it.  We spend so much time worrying about the why of it all, we forget to carry on and live.  Shit happens.  I’ve experienced devastating blows in my life, but I also know I am who I am because of them.  Whenever you hear yourself saying life’s not fair, remember ‘it could always be worse’.  Eye-roll inducing I know, but it’s true.  I know this because I’ve been to third world countries, I’ve survived tragedy, I’ve been heartbroken, I have a home, I have a family and tribe I would go to war for and above all, I’m alive.  Life is not happening to you, although I know it feels that way sometimes.  There’s no power in that.  That takes away our right to choose, our room to grow and our will to LIVE.  It makes us pawns and not warriors.  Sometimes people get away with murder (cough* OJ *cough), sometimes the best guy doesn’t win and sometimes the good die young cause life isn’t fair, nor has it ever been, nor will it ever be.  So keep fighting and hold your head high…or the crown will fall.








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