This week has been interesting to say the least. I’ve been a real Inspector Gadget over here. I don’t always lose my phone, but when I do it’s on silent. Ugh. Idiot Sandwich. What else? Hmmmm, I spent an obscene amount of time looking for that f*$#ing AppleTV remote – like honest to God, I’m about to tape it to a wooden spoon. That remote and socks in the dryer – unspoken mysteries that I don’t even want to solve anymore because it’s so David Copperfield infuriating I just can’t. That’s what magic does to me – it turns me into a super angry Italian woman who has been in traffic for hours and really has to pee and then gets out of her car and just starts bopping people on the head with baguettes – she has a French side okay? Anyways, WHO HAS ALL THE SOCKS?! As of late, I’ve been sporting Game of Thrones socks and one of my ‘winter is coming’ pairs went missing. You would have thought someone dropped a Cartier diamond in the washing machine after I was done with the laundry room. Totally hulked out. Turns out it was just hiding behind the dryer but my work was thorough. Rest assured that no matter what happens to me in this life, I will rip things apart for socks. (sigh) oh man, I need help.
So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness. How to achieve it, where to find it, how to keep it and why some of us don’t let ourselves feel it. What’s a girl gotta do these days to dance in the sun and soak up all the bliss without a worry about tomorrow or what’s next or anything but living in a moment of awesome. I believe Juliet said it best when she asked Romeo, “What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?” She called him out on his shit. She was like listen bro, we’ve been making out for a straight 30 minutes and let’s be real – I don’t even know how you got in here- but I just met you about an hour ago and I don’t have to worry if my parents are going to like you or not because I already know they don’t, so this is going to go south REAL quick and I’m not about to bang you on this balcony cause I’M A LADY. Let’s not forget that moments ago you were swearing on the moon which is a CONSTANTLY changing astronomical body, so excuse me if I’m not exactly sold on what you’re selling yet. Romeo has what I like to call the American Syndrome. That more, more, more mentality. I am convinced our culture thrives and survives on never being happy.
If we were happy with ourselves, truly, think of all the things we do on a day to day basis that we would no longer have to do. What kind of life would you lead if no one else saw it. We are constantly comparing and being sold this or that and told that we need to fix whatever else. How many things do we do for other people and not ourselves? Cause real talk, if I could get away with never shaving my legs again, I would do it. No one LIKES shaving their legs, okay? It’s taxing, it’s time consuming, it’s not fun. Then you step out of the shower, catch a chill and all of your hard work turns into dust. Not to mention it took me 3 years to figure out how to NOT cut myself on the back of my ankle and that plastic BIC razors are for masochists who enjoy pain. So now we’ve got people just lasering it all off. Like, all of it. Who knew hair could be so stressful? What a time to be alive.
We are constantly trying to impress other people. It is statistically true that lines for bathrooms without mirrors move faster. You do the math. Girls take long enough as it is in the bathroom – add a bodysuit and just forget about it. Don’t get me started on bodysuits – the crotch snaps? Nobody wants that. NOBODY, CAROL. When do we settle? When do we get to be happy with what we have? We need to learn how to bask, how to be content, how to embrace happy and let it live and cultivate within us. Be okay with wherever you are in your life. Stop beating yourself up for all the things you aren’t and celebrate all the wonderful things you are. Because you ARE wonderful. I think we all get so ahead of ourselves, thinking about what’s next that we are missing the moments we are living. Stop it. Take it in. Be satisfied. Don’t be Romeo. He dies.
And on a completely unrelated and out of left field note – I FINALLY SAW JASON MOMOA IN THE FLESH and he was eating meatballs with his bare hands and I don’t care because that man can do WHATEVER he wants. We even made eye contact a few times after which all of my insides melted and I couldn’t speak for approximately twenty minutes. I mean, come on. I was watching his youtube channel, cause I’m a stalker like that, and he was drinking Guinness and eating bolognese while in the bathtub. HIS DOPPLEGANGER IS MY UNICORN. Yes, please. Show me where to sign. He makes me happy cause he’s unabashedly himself and maybe we could all use a little more of that in our lives. HA! See what I did there? #connect Mic drop.